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This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue... Down in the Dirt magazine (v099) (the October 2011 Issue) You can also order this 5.5" x 8.5" issue as an ISSN# paperback book:						This writing also appears in this 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback “Symbols Manifest” Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book:

Order this writing in the book Bleeding Heart Cadaver (a Down in the Dirt collection book)		get the 320 page September-December 2011 Down in the Dirt magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

The Artist’s Self Portrait

Ben Macnair

He wears his scars with pride,
pulls at the wounds until they bleed.
A face like a map of experience.
He has the face he wanted,
but not the one he needs.
The tattoos are not permanent marks of pain,
they are the rituals he went through to join the tribe,
and the arguments he has are not with himself,
but with an unjust God.
Darkness is hungry.
it threatens to shallow you,
and in the foreground stands a man,
as he sees himself,
at the mid-point stage of a play
that is only written.
He is all splodges and lines,
closed eyes blocking out the world,
a Boxer’s nose,
caused by drink
and not an opponent’s fist.
An image where life has removed hope,
hanging on a wall of a millionaire’s holiday home,
where the canvas is seen as being far more valuable
than the artist who poured himself into
Lines, splodges and whirls,
half a century ago.

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