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Anger Moves

Erica McBeth

    You know, it’s funny what you think about sometimes. Today this bitch up at the station said something and I started thinking about this guard dog my daddy bought us once named Gemini. Now, why my daddy thought we needed a guard dog, I’ll never know. My daddy was the meanest son of a bitch that ever lived. And when I say that, I mean that with the sincerest respect. My daddy made sure I knew things about this world. That was his responsibility and he took that shit seriously.
    When I was a kid, he’d have me sit in the living room with him while he watched TV and when he finished his beer, he’d have me run into the kitchen to get him another one. Only after a while, he’d start to get a little edgy and it would scare me, you know? I was a just a kid. So when he wasn’t looking, I’d sneak off and hide down in the basement. There was a false wall between the piping and the rest of the cabinet under the sink down there so I’d crawl up under the piping and prop that false wall up against my knee. Eventually, I’d hear my daddy come down looking for me. He’d be pacing and cursing and I’d be praying he didn’t hear that false wall trembling. He would have beat the living hell out of me if he’d found me, but he never did. I guess I was lucky. I’d wait down there until he’d go to sleep and I could always tell when he passed out because the whole house would suddenly go eerily silent like a tornado had come through. Then the next day he wouldn’t even remember he’d been looking for me.
    Now at the time, I didn’t understand what my daddy was doing but now I realize he was just trying to teach me a little respect. Sometimes you got to knock people around a little bit to make them see. I mean I love my momma and all, but Lord Almighty that woman would never listen. My old man always had to beat her ass to keep her straight when all she had to do was follow his instructions. It was really that simple but she was always trying to take away his power. I don’t know. Maybe that’s why he got us a guard dog in the first place. Not to just to keep the bad people out, but to enforce his power inside the house. I mean it got to the point where Gemini was like the physical reminder my daddy was around even when he wasn’t even there.
    And that was the funny thing about my old man. He was always doing things you didn’t expect like when he brought Gemini home. He didn’t tell us he was getting a puppy or nothing. Just brought him home one night and chained him up in the backyard. I was excited because I’d never had a puppy before. I wanted to spoil him but my daddy said if Gemini was going to grow up to be a big tough dog, he needed discipline. So I started out by just shooting little pebbles at him like I’d seen the big kids shoot pebbles into the lake. Only problem was Gemini thought I was playing. So I threw the pebbles harder. I nailed him once real good. He yipped and then he never made the mistake I was playing with him ever again.
    But my old man really made sure Gemini knew who was in charge. Sometimes he’d come home at night and just beat the living hell out of that dog. I’d see the whole thing from my bedroom window upstairs. My daddy would be wailing his fists down on him. He’d kick that dog’s ribs like he was kicking around an old soccer ball. It finally got to the point where Gemini would see my daddy coming and immediately lie down to take the beating. Now that’s how it should be. There shouldn’t ever be any doubt about who is the king of the castle. And the old man enjoyed giving a good beating every now and then. I think it was because he liked to feel the pain as he beat something down. Gives a man a sense of empowerment, you know?
    Anyways, after a while I didn’t pay much attention to Gemini and before I knew it, he’d grown up to be twice as big as me. I wasn’t afraid of him but he sure did look like a mean son of a bitch. One day I was down the street hanging out with a bunch of boys when I looked up and saw Gemini running down the street towards us. It was so weird seeing him outside of the backyard. He looked big and powerful, but he also looked like he didn’t quite know what to do with his new freedom either. I held my ground but the boys I was with, they all scattered. It didn’t take Gemini long to catch up to Wesley Chastain. I never liked Wesley. He was always the pussy-ass tattletale of the neighborhood. He’d apparently made a run for his house which was only a couple of doors down, but when Gemini charged him, he laid Wesley out flat, right on his own front lawn. Wesley started shrieking. He tried to get up, scramble to his feet but Gemini wasn’t going to have it. He grabbed Wesley by the side of his face and shook him. Wesley just screamed louder so Gemini stopped, got a better grip and shook him again. I can still remember Wesley’s mouth as he was screaming. It looked like a perfect “o”. Anyway, Gemini continued shaking Wesley like that until Wesley’s body had gone all limp. His body was silent but I could still hear his screams echoing through the neighborhood. Eventually, his mama shot out of the house and began beating Gemini with a broom but I knew that wasn’t going to do any good. My daddy had given Gemini worse beatings for nothing at all. Finally the fellow from across the street came out with a pistol. He got as close to Gemini as he dared and then fired one shot into the back of Gemini’s head. Gemini’s body went limp right on top of ole Wesley Chastain.
    I must not have seen the rest because everything after that is just real hazy, but I can remember that one incident so clear as if it’s still happening right in front of my face. Isn’t that strange? You know, later one of my teachers asked me if I was happy that monster was gone. I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about.



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