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This Stuff Breaks Out on My Mind Like Pimples on a Teen-age Chin

Bruce Matteson

I once saw in the paper where a man was rejected from the police academy for being too smart
There must surely be other occupations that require the lack of mental process
Work that requires droid-like precision
Certainly things like assassination craft
And for most likely the same reasons
You wouldn’t want your assassins following their targets around
To determine if they really did need eliminating for crying out loud
Maybe even inventing ways to meet and befriend them take them bowling and such
Just to confirm that they are indeed incorrigible vermin in need of extermination
What if they turned out to be cool and good company except for one or two tiny misgivings
That you as an assassin found to be excusable, even endearing
In an “isn’t that cute, he has convictions” sort of way which just wouldn’t work I’m thinking though
It would be somewhat reassuring to know that the fellows who deploy the mechanics
Have relatively intense convolutions even if it is reassuring in a who are we kidding sense
Reminding us that if we are to be perfectly candid with ourselves
We would be hard pressed to name any government department with no history of error
Which only serves to feed the monster in my closet with questions beyond the border of maniacal
Such as should I be murdered, at the moment of my death will I have any way of knowing
If this is all a terrible mistake or have they found me out or
Has poor verse been added to crimes against the state and if so
What’s to keep them from slipping a few radioactive isotopes into my liver
The next time they are rotor-rooting out my colon making it possible to clean out my bank account
As well as their to-do list. (Case in point regarding governmental miscalculation)

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