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Luna’s Ticked

Bruce Matteson

I love small town America, I really do, what’s left of it
The caé here used to serve the best food in the world
But it’s gone now, so it’s either Denny’s or the Arches
Those and the research lab are all that remain
Besides the post office, city hall, and the volunteer fire truck parked in the alley
Everything else is up on the interstate where I almost never go
Oh sure, there’s a better class of corporate chow up there
By the Wal-Mart and truck stop
But I take my chances right here, on the corner of Elm and Main
First it was Denny’s, then it was the farm co-op
Now it’s a Denny’s again since Monsanto broke the farmers
If you don’t do research you flip burgers or wait tables
They haven’t changed cooks in a hundred years
I suffer the ammonized burger to get dessert
When I ask Luna for raspberry sauce on a piece of turtle cheesecake
I see her eyes roll up in her head because that’s not what it says on the menu
It’s either raspberry or turtle
I think about the research lab and the mice crossed with Liz Taylor stem cells
Mouths big enough to apply lipstick to and inch long eyelashes
And remember how years ago someone there isolated the caudate nucleus
Identifying its effectiveness as a human alarm response system
Making me wish they moonlighted as a waitress
“You want the turtle or the raspberry?” Luna wanted to know
“I want the turtle WITH some raspberry sauce” I told her
She went away muttering, but it wasn’t in English
I don’t know for sure but I don’t think it was Spanish either
When she came back she had my cheesecake and a pot of coffee
There was sauce everywhere and Luna had the strangest look on her face that you could imagine
I looked first at the plate all criss crossed with hot fudge, caramel, and raspberry
And then at Luna’s face fixed on it with a faraway stare
Suddenly it dawned on me, “Your boyfriends done this to you hasn’t he” I asked
Luna dropped the coffee pot on the tile floor and fled
After lunch I headed out for the river past the laboratory
Where Luna’s ancient VW bus was parked by the help wanted sign
“Isn’t that about perfect” I thought
Don’t get me wrong, I like Luna, but it was hard enough ordering dessert from her
These days, I just feel more comfortable making my own shampoo



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