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This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue... Down in the Dirt magazine (v110) (the September 2012 Issue) You can also order this 5.5" x 8.5" issue as an ISSN# paperback book:

Order this writing in the book Falling (a Down in the Dirt collection book)		get the 230 page Sept. - Dec. 2012 Down in the Dirt magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

two texans

Liam Spencer

    I had been in the city for just a few months, but had already discovered many great hangouts. It was the first time I had lived in a city, or had even visited one for that matter, so every day was thrilling to me. I had never seen such a culture of abundance and abandon. Incredibly attractive women were everywhere, and easy to approach. Beer and liquor were the steady diets of most inhabitants. Parties filled every block. Clubs were packed, bars were busy, and a simple walk down the street brought a contact high.
    The summer heat brought things to fever pitch. The energies were amazing. One couldn’t help but get drawn in. One night, it was clubs with sexy women, driving music, and cheap beer, followed by an after hours party on a rooftop of an apartment building. The next night was a crowded bar with great live music, followed by a rowdy party in a nearby apartment. Still another was an all night party at a house across the street .There were no limits.
    Being new to the city was no issue. There seemed to be a code amongst drunks; they, no we, talked to everyone. The only drunken strangers are those who chose to be, and even they had to walk away from us drunks who tried to converse with them. Even parties that were in private places were easy to get in. I would just bring a cheap pizza and walk right in the door. No one will turn away a pizza, especially when drunk.
    On this particular night, I had checked out a few places after drinking too much at my apartment. They were all dull, with only hardened, older drunks who cared more about drinking than partying. I decided to check out a place I knew would be happening. It was legendary for wildness, and held quite the legacy for rowdy rock and roll, not to mention an abundance of incredibly beautiful women.
    The night was all too hot and very humid, with the overnight low of eighty three. The moon was nearly full, and helped light the darker areas of the city. Hot young chicks passed by while gabbing about nonsense to other hot young chicks. They were clearly students at the university too.
    As I neared the place the music got louder and louder. It would be a wild one for sure! When I got to the bar, there was a long line, as bouncers were checking for underage drinkers. Before long, two skinny guys in cowboy hats got in line behind me. Actually, I heard their drawl before I saw them. The people in front of me were three guys and two women, obviously all together. I could see the two women were with two of the guys, and they were a closed clique. Nonetheless, I stole glances at the women, especially their beautiful legs and asses.
    The guys behind me in those awful hats saw I was alone, and sensed a chance to talk with someone. No harm there. They explained that they were from Texas (there’s a surprise), and were in town for a visit. They wanted a wild time, and were asking about where the best places were. I explained that I had come up empty that night, and so that bar was the best bet. Then I warned them that the place can get pretty wild.
    They stood there with wide eyes. The larger one told the other that he wasn’t sure about going in there, that a couple Texans in the big city might not fare well. I chuckled and said adventure is a good thing, and if they wanted dull, there were other places that could accommodate. The smaller Texan reassured, adding that they only get one night to be in a city. I found myself feeling bad for them, but glad I finally was living in a city. I was actually better off than someone!
    Eventually we all made it inside, and it was a hell of scene. Women wore revealing clothes and moved with high levels of sexuality. Men tried to look tough, but revealed deep insecurities all too apparently. The music was loud and rowdy, and high energies ran rampid. Oddly, there wasn’t much of a line to get beer, though. It was as though everyone was broke, somehow, and was farming every sip. I grabbed two beers for myself and went to check opportunities to meet women. I doubted I would get to, as they all seemed to be with someone.
    I took to enjoying the music, absorbing the energies, and making light conversation with whoever I came across. I did speak with a few women who came over to me, but that was ended when their boyfriends came over to round them up while giving me the evil eye. Not much else was going on, and I was feeling like an outsider for the first time since I first moved to the city.
    Eventually, the two Texans showed up. They had decided to stay close to the only person the “knew.” Great. There would be no meeting chicks or even finding new people to converse with. The two Texans were too scared to talk with anyone else. They chose me because I was backwoods enough to put them at ease. I tried to make conversation with others, and include the Texans. Neither side was interested. The Texans were only into comparing everything with Texas. Like I gave a fuck about how things were in Texas!
    The night rolled on. I enjoyed the music, but nothing else was developing. The Texans continued rambling and insisting I hear every line of bullshit and everything they found amusing. Then they interrupted when I tried to talk with a hot blond woman who seemed interested just to say that one of them had to use the restroom. It wasn’t that I thought I’d get her, necessarily, but it’s always good to seem like one is happening enough to converse with beautiful women. It helps the image, not to mention providing masturbation material later. I was getting pissed.
    When I finished my second beer, I decided to leave, partly to get rid of the Texans. I made the mistake of telling them I was going. They followed. I thought I might be able to convince them to buy beer and follow me to find a party somewhere, but they didn’t want to spend the money.
    As we reached the door, the smaller one declared he had to use the bathroom and disappeared through the crowd. The larger one stood there looking stupid with that damn hat and saying nothing. We were just at the edge of the crowd, so I stole glances at hot feminine legs to distract from the bad night. The band played on. The place was packed and rowdy.
    A woman I hadn’t seen tapped me on the shoulder and spoke. I couldn’t hear her. She leaned in close. Her sexy voice gave me a hard on.
    “Who is that? Why does he have a fucking cowboy hat on?”
    “Oh, him? He’s one of the village people.”
    I meant it as a joke.
    Instead of laughing, she told her friends ahead of us. They told more people. Word spread rapidly. The next thing I knew, the Texan was being lifted up by the crowd. They carried him on a wave toward the stage. The terrified Texan yelled, kicked, and screamed, but it was drown out by chants of “YMCA, YMCA!” They put the man on the stage. The singer of the band came over and put his arm around him, while continuing to sing, as the crowd continued to chant “YMCA YMCA!” the Texan stood frozen with a bright red face.
    The other Texan came out, ready to leave.
    “Whoa. We gotta wait for your friend.”
    “Where is he?”
    I motioned to the stage. He froze too. His face was almost as red.
    The song ended, and the singer shook the Texan’s hand, then motioned for him to get off the stage. As he left and hurried through the crowd, chants of “YMCA” were stronger than ever. When he reached us, he just rushed out the door. The other Texan rushed to keep up. I left slowly, hoping they’d leave. They waited half a block away.
    “Thanks for showing us around. We gotta go now. Nice to meet you.”
    “Sure. Take care. Enjoy your trip.
    They were so shaken that I felt guilty. Then again, it was probably the most memorable night they’ll ever have in their lives. The thought saddened me terribly. I stopped at a quiet bar and bought a six pack, then went home to put my past behind me.

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