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Start the Revolution

Audrey Burns

Three black haired sisters
or lovers
it is sometimes impossible to tell the difference
befriend me the moment I take my seat on the train
‘She’s smiling’ leader black hair explains
everyone else is so depressed

They’re coming from New York
the journey I once made
They ask me where I’m going
Buffalo
Then why? to see whom?

I stare at the sun in his
apartment while he sleeps
wondering the mysteries of that vitamin
the one that makes you happy
I trust him, I told him,
what more does he want?
I say I am sad
and he says no, you are angry

No, anger is an action
and I do nothing
If I had a boy I would name him
Ezra, or Grant, or Christian
But I do nothing.

On the way back, I search for my black haired coven
I am ready to join.
But they are gone to some grey upstate city and I can’t
remember which one
they are all the goddamn same

While I am away
I miss the toothless white cat, miss kitty
who loves to sleep on my fluffy white towels
fading into the color until she is gone
When I am there though
it hurts to stay and I miss
strangers telling me I have a radiant smile.

A smile that says I am happy
or maybe it’s radiant because it knows I am not
and maybe I am hopeful and maybe
I am not
but I refuse to botch and bloody you, stranger

my throat aches
that means it’s time to move
Proverbial inner harp that moves you to motion
picking lazily at the fine strings
that is a clear disrupt to its smooth rhythm

Months ago I strolled through the graveyard
behind my house
collapsing in the damp grass beneath “Christian Stone”
and “his wife Celestia”
Mine is that space over there
see it?
never catches the sun, next to that lump
that is actually a shoebox
cheap stone, small you don’t see it?
Ah, I see now, no “his wife” just...

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