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Exerpts from the Diary of a Useless Man

Tom Ball

    I observed that, “Here people were ordinary and they were easily satisfied on the one hand but on the other hand they always competed with each other for more money... Money was their God...”
    I figured it was a “Kiss ass world.”
    I told them, “They only survived due to strong stimulants... which kept them interested in their boring life.”
    And I told them, “Many still believed in a higher power so they conveniently didn’t have to worry.”
    But I also told them, “This idea of God was probably one man’s invention. Similarly religious men (shamans) existed in pretty much all cultures. And it was one guy’s idea to start farming and another man thought of domesticating animals. And so on.”
    They said, “Everything nowadays had to be done in a group.”

    And they told me, “I was not a scientific genius anyway.”
    But I told them although I wasn’t a scientific genius, I had ideas about how to use what technology we had. I specifically wanted a loving world using the banned MRT (mind reading technology)... Everyone could live as a happy group and all our problems would be solved. Make uses for one another.”
    But my true love said, “Above all you need to be useful to yourself.”
    I said, “I didn’t want to pander and suck up to anyone.”
    And I said, “If you don’t have a lot of cash you can’t do art or business.”

    But there were many people who were “against any kind of further progress.” And many others said, “All out progress was in order.” There were few balanced viewpoints.
    In any case I told them, “It seemed that recently there was a “dumbing down” of civilization. We were all mindless consumers coveting more luxuries. But the government made up statistics showing the economy was growing fast and all was well. But it seemed to me the entire economy was in the entertainment industry.”
    And I said, “I couldn’t see what the point of more luxuries was anyway.”
    But my true love said, “We are all becoming unprecedently wise due to eternal youth.
    I said, “If you are not wise by the time you are twenty, you would never be wise.
    She didn’t agree.
    I said, “I don’t know how people of the past managed without drugs and entertainment. Had to make their own fun.”
    She said, “You’ve got to fake it and pretend you are having a good time and maybe good things will happen.”

    I said, “Surely we should all live in a world in which we all have use. Have small business create jobs (now there were just 5 big companies and they all planned to merge)...
    But everyone told me, “They just wanted a comfortable position and said with eternal youth that we had no need to rush into anything.”
    “People weren’t designed to be “useful”’ they told me.
    I said, “People do the same things again and again for no reason.”

XXXX

    One man I met told me, “That everyone had improved their knowledge and EQ and imagination and I was being left behind...”
    But he said, “The authorities worried about the high suicide rate of 5% per year despite eternal youth.”

    I told him, “For me it was a world of contradictions. Every idea had it’s opposite and in between. Some called us the “everything people.” But we lived simply and some said “purely.” It seemed like people didn’t care so much about money as before, but instead cared about sex...”

    He said, “There was no doubt it was a sex world now. People now lived in towers—giant phalluses which were called “temples.” When I had been young it was a normal world. But now people worshipped the Sex God with orgies and sex drugs.”

    And he said, “Most worlds were sex worlds now.”

    And he said, “Another new thing here was everywhere there were floating balls believed to be representatives of God. The balls pursued some people who were clever but not fools.”
    And he said, “Having fun was banned and that the religion balls would read your mind and destroy you if you tried to have fun.” “Others said they were part of a computer network,” said he.

    As I toured the city it seemed there was no freedom. And people had fallen for sex as a substitute for a real life.

    And some complained that women were too thin. “Stick women,” they called them.

    And some said there were too many “Jekyll and Hyde” types of people.

    Some said “Everyone was rich and spoiled.”

    But most people I talked to said, “It was a struggle to survive.”

    But most told me they “found solace in the varying drugs that were available. There were drugs for every mood.”

    The “best people” were 1 person bands playing new music on guitar (acoustic).

    And some had clever lyrics.

    Some said we were all “idiot savants” with talent for music but little else.
    They said “Everyone is in one computer brain.”

    Many people told me, “They feared devastating death rays against those the government didn’t like.”
    “And so many “behaved” for this reason,” they told me.

    I was a superfluous man and told people, “I figured I should have been a ‘scientist.’” For us science was relegated to brilliant music only.

    I told people I felt my mind was so open I was ready for anything, but science was frowned upon.

    And I prognosticated that, “In the future everyone will be insane.”

    Just like here most art was in the form of horror stories all music and art was horror, some was sci-fi.
    Some said it was all bizarre exotica...

    Some made love on the street... They had no class... They thought they were wild...

    Finally I killed myself out of sheer boredom...No doubt the government was happy to see the last of me.“They just wanted a comfortable position and said with eternal youth that we had no need to rush into anything.”
    “People weren’t designed to be “useful”’ they told me.
    I said, “People do the same things again and again for no reason.”

XXXX

    One man I met told me, “That everyone had improved their knowledge and EQ and imagination and I was being left behind...”
    But he said, “The authorities worried about the high suicide rate of 5% per year despite eternal youth.”

    I told him, “For me it was a world of contradictions. Every idea had it’s opposite and in between. Some called us the “everything people.” But we lived simply and some said “purely.” It seemed like people didn’t care so much about money as before, but instead cared about sex...”

    He said, “There was no doubt it was a sex world now. People now lived in towers–giant phalluses which were called “temples.” When I had been young it was a normal world. But now people worshipped the Sex God with orgies and sex drugs.”

    And he said, “Most worlds were sex worlds now.”

    And he said, “Another new thing here was everywhere there were floating balls believed to be representatives of God. The balls pursued some people who were clever but not fools.”
    And he said, “Having fun was banned and that the religion balls would read your mind and destroy you if you tried to have fun.” “Others said they were part of a computer network,” said he.

    As I toured the city it seemed there was no freedom. And people had fallen for sex as a substitute for a real life.

    And some complained that women were too thin. “Stick women,” they called them.

    And some said there were too many “Jekyll and Hyde” types of people.

    Some said “Everyone was rich and spoiled.”

    But most people I talked to said, “It was a struggle to survive.”

    But most told me they “found solace in the varying drugs that were available. There were drugs for every mood.”

    The “best people” were 1 person bands playing new music on guitar (acoustic).

    And some had clever lyrics.

    Some said we were all “idiot savants” with talent for music but little else.
    They said “Everyone is in one computer brain.”

    Many people told me, “They feared devastating death rays against those the government didn’t like.”
    “And so many “behaved” for this reason,” they told me.

    I was a superfluous man and told people, “I figured I should have been a ‘scientist.’” For us science was relegated to brilliant music only.

    I told people I felt my mind was so open I was ready for anything, but science was frowned upon.

    And I prognosticated that, “In the future everyone will be insane.”

    Just like here most art was in the form of horror stories all music and art was horror, some was sci-fi.
    Some said it was all bizarre exotica...

    Some made love on the street... They had no class... They thought they were wild...

    Finally I killed myself out of sheer boredom...No doubt the government was happy to see the last of me.

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