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I go to the thriftshop to find a cane or walking stick.

Fritz Hamilton

    I go to the thriftshop to find a cane or walking stick. I just turned 76, & some 40ish fool attacked me at an AA meeting yesterday. In a few days I’ll have 40 yrs of sobriety, if I don’t drop dead of old age or get beat to death by some young coward. I have reported this to the Pasadena Keystone Cops, but as anyone who reads the papers knows, cops will find every reason not to pick up this product of the California prison system. For various reasons the cops foster the psychopaths who run the streets killing, maiming, robbing & doing other such things to prove their personhood. L.A. Cty is just behind Chicago in the misery factor. If you want the police to ignore you when you need them, live in Chicago or L.A. Cty. The Pasadena police are in L.A. Cty. I have visited them twice to report my assault & twice, for technical reasons like my not knowing my crook’s last name, they have refused to do anything. Once the original cops who took my conplaint were out, so they had no one to deal with my case.
    The trouble with being 76 is life can be dull & depressing at times. But the coward Matthew has spiced up my life. I feel good about getting into a fight of any kind at my age. It’s both amazing & wonderful that I’m going through this. How many old guys get this opportunity?
    After I purchase my stick at the thrift shop, I’m going back to the same meeting place today, & I shall share what’s going on with me. If Matthew the coward is there, all the better. If he’s not, the meeting will get a dose of this bullshit again. I hope to keep this going until Matthew is back in prison, & I’m a senior hero of the month. Then of course the drama will be over, & I’ll have to seek my amusement elsewhere.
    I rise from my desk, almost falling backward over the chair to bang my head against the closet door. Then I’ll have the real problem, which is to get back on my feet. This is an old people’s dilemma, which is what I am, but I still have enough left to destroy Matthew & make me the hero of the senior center. This has all the horror of a TV sitcom. The Oscars are on tonight, & I think I’ll win one, while drinking a gallon of the psychopath’s blood before camera. Brad Pitt will look on with amazment. George Cloony will be jealous. My innumerable girlfriends will swoon & tear off their clothes begging me to partake of them. Most of all, I won’t be trapped in the foul pit of delusion.
    I go to another thriftshop to find a walking stick, but I trip on the step & break my nose on a kewpie doll.
!



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