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the Potion

John Ragusa

    “Why don’t you take me out on a date this Saturday night?” Phoebe Fildress asked.
    “Because I don’t want to date you,” Mervin Dross said. “I don’t think I’d have a good time with you. Now will you please leave me alone, Phoebe?”
    “I can’t stop wanting to be with you, because you’re the love of my life.”
    “I don’t feel the same toward you.”
    “Come on, give me a chance. You might have fun with me.”
    “I doubt it. I don’t enjoy being with you.”
    “Why don’t you like me, Mervin?”
    “You’re just not my type, that’s all.”
    “Opposites attract. Don’t you know that?”
    “I don’t believe that. Two people have to be alike in order to be close to each other.”
    Phoebe took Mervin’s hand. “I can’t help it if I love you.”
    Mervin brushed her hand off his. “You’re just infatuated with me. You’ll grow out of it.”
    “Oh no. I’ll always want to be your lover.”
    “We just can’t be together. I don’t share your feelings.”
    “I won’t leave you alone until you date me.”
    “You’re not going to persuade me to take you out, so just forget it.”
    Phoebe and Mervin were talking in the office at work, where they had met. Mervin was a business executive and Phoebe was his secretary. She was always nagging him for a date, because she was smitten with him. But he didn’t care for her at all because she was ugly and annoying. He wished she was out of his hair.
    Mervin was a ladies’ man, but he didn’t go for Phoebe. She wasn’t pretty enough for him. He only liked beautiful girls.
    Every time Mervin worked with Phoebe, he had to ward off her advances. She was getting to be a pain in the neck.
    Phoebe was lonely; she needed a boyfriend to love. In her eyes, Mervin was the guy to romance, even if he didn’t like her; he would grow fond of her later on.
    Mervin tried to interest Phoebe in Hank, his best friend.
    “You can go out with Hank,” he told her. “He’s a nice guy.”
    “But he isn’t anything like you.”
    “He’ll show you a good time on a date. He’s a lot of fun.”
    Phoebe sighed. “I guess I could date him once and see how it works out.”
    “Now you’re talking! You’ll have yourself a swell time with Hank.”
    “I wish it was you instead.”
    “Forget about me. Focus on having a ball with Hank.”
    “I guess I’ll date him.”
    Mervin cornered Hank in the hallway. “Phoebe would like to date you, Hank. Why don’t you take her out?”
    “Phoebe . . . isn’t she your sweet, nice secretary?”
    “That’s her.”
    “I’ll take her out on a date. It should be great fun.”
    Hank took Phoebe out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant, but she didn’t like anything on the menu, so she skipped eating supper. Afterward, they went bowling, but since Phoebe got too many gutter balls, she didn’t enjoy that, either.
    “I’m sorry this wasn’t much of a date, Hank,” she said. “I really like you. You’re a nice man, but we’re not meant for each other.”
    “Would you have rather been with Mervin?”
    Phoebe nodded, embarrassed. “He’s the only guy I love.”
    “He’s a lucky devil.”
    But Mervin didn’t feel lucky to be loved by Phoebe; he felt burdened. If only there was some way she would get off his back!
    Mervin made excuses not to date Phoebe. But she continued to pursue him. He was getting sick of all her attention.
    He treated her rudely, thinking she’d stop liking him because of it. But she still went on having a crush on him.
    He wouldn’t ever have feelings for Phoebe, but she didn’t seem to realize that, so he just started avoiding her when he could.
    One day, Mervin was sitting on a bench in the park, feeding the pigeons. An elderly man came along and sat down next to him.
    “Hi there, young fellow,” the old man said.
    “Good afternoon,” Mervin said.
    “I’ve heard that you’re trying to get a girl to lose interest in you because you don’t like her.”
    “That’s absolutely right,” Mervin said. “I’ve failed at it.”
    “I have a solution for you. Have you heard of a love potion?”
    “Indeed I have.”
    “Well, I’m offering to sell you a hate potion.”
    “What are you, an alchemist?”
    “Something like that. Do you want to buy the potion?”
    “Will it get Phoebe to stop loving me?”
    “That’s exactly what it will do.”
    “How much is it?”
    “One hundred dollars should cover it.”
    “I’ll take it.”
    Smiling, the old man reached into his pocket and took out a small vial. “This contains the hate potion. Mix it in any beverage, get Phoebe to drink it, and her love for you will vanish.”
    Mervin took a hundred-dollar bill from his wallet and gave it to the hoary man. The latter handed Mervin the vial.
    “So long, and I hope the potion helps you,” the old man said. Then he got up from the bench and walked away.
    Mervin couldn’t wait to use the potion on Phoebe.

    That night, Mervin had Phoebe over for dinner at his apartment. After the meal, she said, “I’m surprised that you asked me over for dinner tonight. I didn’t think you liked me.”
    “I’ve changed my mind about you because you’ve been so nice.”
    “That’s wonderful,” she said. “I’ll go powder my nose now. I’ll be back right away.”
    After Phoebe had gone to the powder room, Mervin put the potion in her glass of wine.
    When she got back, he said to her, “I’ve poured us some wine.”
    “Oh, that’s nice. I just love wine.”
    They clinked glasses and drank the liquor. Phoebe’s demeanor seemed to change.
    She said, “You know, I haven’t forgotten the way you treated me before. You’ve been very rude, and I hate you for it.”
    Mervin was delighted. The potion had worked; Phoebe no longer loved him. She’d stop trying to win his affections.
    “I hate you so much that I’m going to kill you,” Phoebe said. “You’ll be sorry you were mean to me.”
    She picked up her steak knife and stabbed Mervin in the heart with it.
    As he died, Mervin realized that he had done the wrong thing when he used the hate potion.



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