---

 

This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue of cc&d (v242) (the March / April 2013 Issue) You can also order this 5.5" x 8.5" issue as an ISSN# paperback book:

Order this writing in the book Guilt by Association cc&d 2013 collection book		get the 374 page Jan. - June 2013 cc&d magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

Musings After A Good 3^rd Date

Eric S.

Would it be a deal breaker if I smoked? Would it be a deal breaker if I smoked 2 packs a day? Two packs an hour? If I was constantly smoking 3 cigarettes and I couldn’t hold your hand or kiss you because at any given time both of my hands and my mouth were filled with cigarettes? Is that something you could live with?


What if I grew a mustache?
I know, when we met, I didn’t have a mustache but I really want a mustache.
I really want a Fu Manchu mustache with the ends hanging off my lips like

goodbyes.
And I want to tie Slim Jims to each end and every time I’m angry or I’m sad, I can yell
“snap into a slim Jim” and break one and feel awesome.
Would that be ok?


What if I’m actually an android?

What if I take bath salts and then have nightmares about eating people’s faces?

What if I take Prozac and then have trouble orgasming and
sleeping?

What if I look happier than I am?

What if I only reveal fake insecurities when I make self effacing jokes?
What if, no matter what, I will be scared to love for the first year?

On our last date, I get kind of quiet over dinner. You ask if I’m ok.

I say “yeah, I guess I just had a bad day.” You ask why. I don’t know. Just woke up kinda sad.
You tell me, it’s ok, that everyone gets sad sometimes.

But what if I get sadder than that?
Would that be a deal breaker?


There are things I will try to hide from you until they burst out of me like a swarm of angry tapeworms

But, at the risk of over sharing:

I am not an android
I do not want to tie Slim Jim’s to my mustache
I rarely smoke
I don’t take bath salts
I do take Prozac
I do get sad sometimes

I will not blame you if you leave
But I hope that you stay
You seem like the type of person that I would really like to have know me.

Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Problems with this page? Then deal with it...