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This writing was accepted for publication in the 84 page perfect-bound issue... Down in the Dirt magazine (v118) (the July / August 2013 Issue) You can also order this 5.5" x 8.5" issue as an ISSN# paperback book:

Order this writing in the book Drowning (a Down in the Dirt collection book)		get the 297 page July - Dec. 2013 Down in the Dirt magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

Online Dating Profiles

Stanley M Noah

Must like travel. Must like fine dining.
Must like working-out, fitness.
yada yada yada
Must have a sense of humor.
Must be a Christian, attend church. yada yada
Must be Jewish.
Must like dancing. yada
Must like animals.
Must be accepting to my kids even though they don’t like you.
yada yada
Must like eating healthy foods. Must like shared interest.
more yadas
Must like dressing up, social events. Must like volunteer work.
Must like my friends. And
if not, that’s a deal-breaker. yada
Must be romantic, quite romantic.
ba ba ba
Must be non smoker, light drinker. And if not, that’s a deal-breaker.
yada yada
Must have chemistry. I’ll know it when we first meet.
Yada
And please—no games, no players. No photo. I will not reply.
Flirts are nice. But will be deleted.
Send me a real message.

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