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To Fear a Fear

Hannah Haas

    No matter how hard one tries, one cannot explain fear, nor can they understand it. Everyone has a fear, whether it’s hidden, strange, or normal. So many people try to run from their fears, but that only makes us “fears” lonelier. I am what one might call a “fear,” but no one ever thinks of me that way as they assume I don’t have feelings just as they do. Everyone fears my kind for one main reason; they all think we will attack them and deprive them of their dignity or reputation. Fearing a fear is exactly why fears existed, exactly why I was one, too. There was one particular day where I thought all of that might have changed.
    I was standing alone, no one to comfort me but the graceful chimes of the wind and the warmth of the sun’s rays. In the distance, I clearly identified a small female nearing my location. For all I knew, she could’ve been anywhere from three years of age to around twenty years old, but that was only my assumption. It was the first time in years that anyone had approached me, alone. That was the strange part; she didn’t have anyone to accompany her. No one ever came near me without a partner to protect them. Sitting down slowly and cautiously, to show her that I meant her no harm, I sat still.
    The young female was only feet away from me at this point. I called to her, letting her know that I was talking to her. She misunderstood my call, jumping back in shock, no; rather, it was in fear. Why must this always happen? I asked myself, guilt filling the emptiness of my soul. Despising myself for scaring her, I laid down on the ground, blocking my mind from the world. I barely heard her faint scream. “Mommy! Look, it has big teeth and gray hair.” What is “gray?” I wondered silently. The girl’s mother did not come, as there was no one else in sight. “Mommy?” She had despair in her voice. She neared me once more, reaching out to touch me. An invisible barrier blocked her hand from reaching me, so I tried placing my hand at hers but the barrier still blocked us both.
    That’s when I saw it. When I looked really closely, I could see a large, glass structure keeping us apart. The young girl backed away when I stood up, clawing at the glass. She began to run away, calling for her mother as she fled. That was when I realized that no matter what I did, I would always be a fear, and I couldn’t change that.
    Though fears come in forms as vast as of places to the fear of something, I am neither; I am a wolf. Even though I, myself, am a fear, I have a fear to. It is a fear that I have been living my whole life, and now I realize to be true. My fear is that I truly am a fear and will always be one. So to this day, I remain caged from the world, in what humans call a “zoo,” because to them, I am nothing more than a danger to the world. Nothing more than a fear.

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