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A Strange Moment

Alan Catlin

If I wasn’t kneeling in a puddle of spilled beer, broken glass and cigarette butts
My white shirt torn down the front where my tie would have been if I hadn’t ditched
it, along with my glasses, once stuff started going over
And bodies started flying
I might have wondered whose blood it was on the right sleeve of my shirt
or just what I thought I was doing
an over 40, out of shape, college educated, bartender that early in the morning
wrestling with young, alcohol and drug fueled students/ nominal adults
Except I knew exactly what I was doing:
I was trying to stop a bar fight from getting totally out of control
It was the why part of the unasked question that was troubling to me later on

It always amazes me how fast a crowded bar will get like totally silent once punches
start getting thrown
And the help kills the juke box and there is nothing audible but a chorus of fuck yous
from the combatants, the sound of breaking furniture and glass and the distant
wail of sirens drawing nearer to the scene
No one speaks except bartenders and bouncers yelling instructions
Pointing out hot spots still not under control

And with lots of help, by the time the cops arrive, most of the serious shit has been
taken outside where it is getting handcuffed or worse for not heeding the
warnings of cease and desist by the heavily armed officers of the law
What happens not heeding those calls always seemed to me to be self-inflicted and
not worth a second thought
And I’ve never seen anything yet to change my mind

The lead cop is a smartass I’ve known like forever and is like one of the funniest
human beings alive when he’s not on duty
On duty his sense of humor tends toward the sick side but I’m not in any position
to question what he does to indulge himself in that vein
I offered him whatever it was I was pouring myself to calm my nerves which
he thought twice about before turning it down
The end of the school year is a busy night with four years of old scores being
settled in one huge sayonara Albany gesture often leading to court appearances
and unexpected prolonged stays afterwards courtesy of the city
The cops says, “Getting a bit long in the tooth for this kind of after-midnight action,
ain’t you?”

“At least, I’ve got all my teeth which is more than you can say.”
“Not for long if you keep this shit up.”
“You’re just jealous.”
“Of you? Right. You’re just trying to relive your youth. I know what you’re
thinking, ‘you’re never too old for a good bar fight.’”
He said that with a smile on his face but neither one of us was laughing.
Maybe because we were the same age

He retired years before I even thought about it
And he got a generous pension too
I’ll be lucky if I get a free beer
Just goes to show you how overrated what they teach you in college is

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