This writing was accepted for publication in the 96 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book... “a Bad Influence” Down in the Dirt (v129) (the May/June 2015 Issue) You can also order this 6"x9" issue as a paperback book:

Order this writing in the book Adrift (issues edition) the Down in the Dirt Jan. - June 2015 collection book		get the 318 page Jan. - June 2015 Down in the Dirt magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

Order this writing in the book Adrift (issues / chapbooks edition) - the Down in the Dirt Jan. - June 2015 collection book		get the 378 page Jan. - June 2015 Down in the Dirt magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

Order this writing in the book Sunlight in the Sanctuary (the 2015 poetry, flash fiction, prose & artwork anthology)		get this poem collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

The Fairest of Them All

Lexi Lovetere

    He showed interest in me in a way no one has before. It was a curious thing. Stolen glances and indirect compliments were the only things that told me I was attractive. He wasn’t always so nice. Actually he was quite blunt most of the time. When the other girls started wearing makeup he looked at me and thought I could use some too. It only started with blush but that led to mascara which quickly escalated to masking my face with every product the world had to offer. I wonder if he could see me anymore, but that really didn’t matter.
    He saw my hair and how dull it was. Another hair color perhaps? Or maybe if I just styled it differently? I tried both and at the moment he was captivated by the changes. They were so new and different and exciting. He looked at me from every angle and approved of what I had done. But the next day he did not look at me the same. The excitement had faded and what was once so different and new had lost its vitality. Another hair color perhaps?
    He saw my body and thought that I could do better. He shamed me for eating dessert that night. My thighs were too large and my butt was too flat for his liking. Some celery sticks in the morning, a workout to follow, skip lunch, I can have dinner tomorrow. I felt weaker but my waistline was thinner. Is that what he wanted? I could do better.
    He saw my clothing as if my body wasn’t enough. Wear this and wear that. Wear something thinner and shorter. My skin was getting cold. I couldn’t keep up with all the trends and the fads. He wanted deep cut tops and short riding skirts, maybe a heel or two for good measure. I thought I could do that. My skin was getting cold.
    He saw it all. He thought I should change it all. And so I did. I looked at him and asked if I was good enough yet. Had I done it right? Was I presentable yet? No, not yet. But I was tired of him. My vision was clouded because I depended on what he thought of me. He judged me the best. But not anymore, I was done with him. So I smashed him, I smashed him into little pieces and shards until he flew to the floor in every direction. I had finally made him what he had made me, shattered and broken. I picked up a piece of him and looked him in the eye and then I started to cry. My mirror was broken and so was I.

Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Problems with this page? Then deal with it...