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This writing was accepted for publication in the 96 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book... “Too Many Miles” Down in the Dirt (v130) (the July/Aug. 2015 Issue) You can also order this 6"x9" issue as a paperback book:

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There’s A Leopard In The Garage

Jonathan Payne

    “There’s a leopard in the garage,” says Nicky, slamming the front door behind him. He flings his school bag into the closet under the stairs.
    “What did you say?” calls his father from the kitchen, over the sound of coffee percolating. Leonard Allcott Jr., known to most as Lenny.
    Nicky heads over towards kitchen, raising his voice. “I said there’s a leopard in the garage.”
    “OK, very funny.”
    “I’m serious!”
    “Hold on, what are we talking about?”
    “I’m talking about a leopard. An actual leopard. You know, like in the zoo. Except this one’s not in the zoo; it’s in the garage.”
    “What, right now?”
    “Yes, right now.”
    “What did you see?”
    “I saw it’s ass squeezing under the door, after mom’s car went in.”
    Lenny drops his cup onto the tiled kitchen floor, where it shatters into pieces. Nicky hops out of the way. Lenny says, “What!? Your mother is in there with it!?”
    “Think so.”
    “Fuck me, Nicky! Why didn’t you say something!?”
    Lenny heads full pelt along the corridor and into the utility room. Nicky races behind him.
    Lenny reaches the internal garage door just as Theresa Brown Allcott, known to everyone as Terri, steps through it with a wide grin and an armful of shopping bags.
    Her grin swiftly morphs into a grimace. “Leonard!” she says, as Lenny pulls her by the shoulders from the doorway and into the advancing Nicky. He slams the door behind her and locks it with both bolts.
    Terri and Nicky land in a heap on the floor of the utility room.
    “Lenny, what the hell!?” says Terri. “What’s going on!?”
    “Oh God; I’m sorry,” says Lenny, helping them both up. “Nicky says there’s a leopard in the garage.”
    “A leopard? How can there be a leopard? I didn’t see anything.”
    “Thank God for that,” says Lenny, “but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Nicky saw its ass squeezing under the door as your car went in.”
    “Oh, come on, Nicky. Are you sure?” asks Terri. “It’s probably just Buster.”
    Lenny rolls his eyes and turns to Nicky. “Of course, you probably just saw Buster.”
    “I don’t think so,” says Nicky, “because what’s left of Buster is spread all over the Spencers’ front yard.”
    “What the fu...” says Lenny, before heading to the front window of the living room. The others follow.
    Sure enough, right there in the Spencer’s front yard are the grisly remains of something. A mangled and bloodied torso, right in the middle of the lawn. Next to it lies a severed leg and, next to that. something smaller and difficult to distinguish, maybe an ear.
    “Oh my God.” Terri puts both hands over her mouth. Lenny worries that she’s about to hurl.
    “You see,” says Nicky, “that looks like Buster.”
    “Yes, it does,” agrees Lenny.
    Terri runs into the kitchen, arriving just in time to vomit into the sink. Lenny and Nicky hang back in the living room, to give her some space.
    Lenny runs his hands through his hair, wondering what to do next. The question is answered for him by the sound of a distant siren.
    “Stay with your mother,” says Lenny, and heads outside.
    Brian Spencer is standing by his fence, hands on hips, his face like thunder.
    Roger and Dorothy from opposite the Spencers are heading across the street. About half way across they spot the remains of Buster. Dorothy buries her head in Roger’s shoulder.
    Clive Sampford, two doors down from Roger and Dorothy, is spreading his collection of orange cones across the road to stop traffic from going past the scene of the crime.
    Now one siren has become two, maybe three. And they’re much closer. The sounds twist and phase in the early evening breeze.
    Colin and Michelle, the young couple next door to the Allcotts at the other side, arrive home in their station wagon. They leave the car in the driveway and head over in Lenny’s direction.
    Nicky’s older sister, Connie, appears around the corner carrying her school bag over her shoulder, with a group of girlfriends. They slow down as they approach the Spencers’ front yard. One of Connie’s friends curses then spits her gum into the street.
    Old Mr. Simpson, opposite the Allcotts, appears on his porch and takes a seat on one of the rocking chairs, as if preparing to watch a show.
    A couple of unidentified neighbors from further along the street are walking past and stop to survey the scene.
    Another neighbor stops his SUV short of Clive Sampford’s orange cones and strolls over to take a look.
    It occurs to Lenny that he’s never seen so many of his neighbors in one place before. He reaches Brian Spencer and is about to say something, but is drowned out by the arrival of the first police car.
    Everyone stops and turns to watch the black and white Chevy take the corner with a squeal before it stops abruptly, just short of the Spencers’, outside the Etheringtons’. The Etheringtons are on a cruise somewhere in the Caribbean.
    Two officers emerge and march purposefully in the direction of Lenny and Brian. They don’t introduce themselves, but the taller one’s badge says Allinson; the shorter one’s badge says Krepsch.
    “Are you Mr. Spencer?” Officer Allinson asks Lenny.
    “No, he is,” says Lenny, pointing to Brian.
    Allinson turns to Brian. “Can you tell me what’s happened here?”
    Brian shrugs and gestures towards the grisly remains spread across the lawn. “Search me. I just stepped into the yard and found this. He was called Buster. Golden Labrador. We’ve had him nearly seven years.”
    Lenny realizes that they are surrounded by a growing circle of most of his close neighbors. He leans into the two officers so that he can speak quietly. “My son saw a wild animal.”
    “What did you say?” asks Krepsch, pushing his ear lobe in Lenny’s direction.
    “My son thinks he saw a wild animal. It went into our garage.” He points out the garage.
    “What sort of wild animal?” asks Allinson, sounding skeptical.
    “I don’t know,” says Lenny. “He thinks it’s a leopard.”
    “A leopard?” asks Krepsch, too loudly.
    “What did he say?” calls one of the neighbors.
    Allinson looks around at the growing group of onlookers. “Folks! I need you to back off a little, please. Please step back onto the sidewalk, so we can talk to these two gentlemen.”

    The neighbors shuffle backwards and begin to chat among themselves.
    A couple more cars are now stopping at the traffic cones. A second police car pulls up, followed by an ambulance.
    “Where’s your son now, sir?” Allinson asks Lenny.
    “In the house,” says Lenny.
    Allinson turns to Krepsch. “You go with this gentleman to talk to his son. I’ll stay here and take a statement from Mr. Spencer.”
    Lenny takes Krepsch inside. Terri is in the kitchen, cleaning up after herself. Nicky is sitting on the sofa, just staring into space. He’s making no attempt to watch all the commotion outside.
    “Nicky,” says Lenny, “can you tell the officer what you saw, please?”
    “Sure,” says Nicky, calmly, not moving his gaze towards Krepsch. “It was a leopard. No doubt about it. Saw its ass squeeze under the garage door just as mom’s car went in.”
    “Did you see it attack the dog?” asks Krepsch, sitting down on an armchair in an attempt to get into Nicky’s line of sight.
    “Nope. Just saw it’s ass heading into the garage,” says Nicky.
    Krepsch stands up again and turns back to Lenny. “And you’ve secured all the doors?”
    “Yes,” says Lenny. “Whatever it is, it can’t go anywhere.”
    “Can I see?” asks Krepsch.
    Lenny leads him briskly to the utility room.
    Krepsch puts his ear to the door for a second. Then he checks that the door is locked. “OK, let’s get everyone out of the house until we know it’s safe.”
    Lenny fetches Terri and Nicky and they follow Krepsch outside.
    Now there are even more neighbors massing on the sidewalk. They are chatting amongst themselves; animated but respectful.
    More sirens in the distance. And the first sign of an evening chill in the air.
    The newly-arrived police officers are busily cordoning off both the Allcotts’ house and the Spencers’ house with yellow and black striped tape.
    Krespch escorts the Allcotts onto the sidewalk.
    Allinson turns to address the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen! Please stay behind this tape. For your own safety, I need you to keep back.”
    “What’s going on?” shouts an unidentified neighbor from the back of the crowd.
    Allinson looks reluctant to speak. “We believe there is a wild animal of some kind trapped in this garage.” And he gestures towards the Allcotts’ house. A murmur goes through the crowd. “Everyone is safe if you stay back. We’ve called for animal control. They’ll be here soon.”
    “What kind of wild animal?” shouts someone else.
    “We don’t know,” says Allinson, “maybe a leopard.”
    “How can it be a leopard?” shouts the same guy. “The nearest zoo’s in the city. Is it a leopard that can drive a truck?” Nervous laughter ripples through the crowd.
    “OK, folks, simmer down, please,” says Allinson. “We’ll find out what it is when animal control arrives.” He steps along the street to make a phone call.
    Lenny turns to Terri, “You OK?”
    “Sure,” says Terri, but at the same time she gestures towards Nicky and pulls a face. Nicky is smiling absently and staring along the street. Lenny shrugs.
    Krepsch approaches them. As he does so, Lenny has a thought. A terrible thought. Perhaps worse even than the possibility of a wild animal in the garage.
    “Officer,” Lenny says to Krepsch, “is it OK with you if I lock the house up? It won’t take me a second.”
    Krepsch looks around and says, “OK. But don’t go near the garage. And be quick.”

    Lenny nods and jogs down the driveway into the house. He closes the front door behind him, takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair. He heads over to the closet under the stairs and pauses before opening the door.
    Gingerly, Lenny picks up Nicky’s school bag and looks inside. He takes out a huge science textbook and flings it back into the closet. Likewise with a graphing calculator.
    Then he sees what he had hoped not to see. Lenny reaches carefully into the bag and pulls out the wood axe that’s supposed to be in the shed. As he lifts it by the handle, something begins to fall from the blade. It is blood, and dog hair.
    Lenny takes the axe into the kitchen, cleans it quickly in the sink, then washes his hands. He steps out of the back door, takes a quick look around, and hangs the axe up on a nail in the woodshed. Then he heads back through the house and out into the front yard, straightening his hair as he goes.
    The crowd on the sidewalk, now bigger than ever, is making way for the arrival of a large van marked with the words Animal Control. Some of the people spill through the police tape into the Allcotts’ front yard.
    As he approaches them, Lenny raises his hands. “Hey, folks! Keep back, please. There’s a leopard in the garage.”

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