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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Testament” cc&d (v256) (the July/August 2015 issue) You can also order this 6"x9" issue as a paperback book:

Order this writing in the book from Smoke the cc&d July - Dec. 2015 collection book		get the 318 page July - Dec. 2015 cc&d magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

scarred

Linda M. Crate

there’s no end to the scars
leading down
all the entrails of what’s left of
my heart,
it’s been torn to pieces so many
times i can no longer
keep count;
there’s no need to
because to live is to suffer
we weren’t all born with golden spoons
in our mouths and even those
with money have issues
of their own
we’re all flawed creatures
seeking to deflate one another in our pursuit
of perfection which can never be
found—
the neighbors downstairs slam doors
and yell to cut across the oceans of their agony,
i drown and numb myself with my
addiction of music and like an addict if i don’t
get my daily dose
i rage and snarl and become unbearable;
get headaches and feel miserable
i was once told scars
were beautiful
because they burned us with the searing past
that failed to kill us,
but sometimes i think death would be a reprieve
rather than reliving all these tears day and day again
every day is exactly the same
i need it to change,
but i don’t know how.

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