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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Testament” cc&d (v256) (the July/August 2015 issue) You can also order this 6"x9" issue as a paperback book:

Order this writing in the book from Smoke the cc&d July - Dec. 2015 collection book		get the 318 page July - Dec. 2015 cc&d magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

untitled (the only)

DG Mago

Craving for touch
Affection of any kind
Unfamiliar with anything healthy
Too familiar with the circles of pain and disappointment
The only touch she had was from a closed hand slapping her face
Pretending it was a gentle stroke caressing her cheek
The only touch she had was by a fiendish relative
Grooming her for his own twisted enjoyment
Betraying her trust
She no longer trusts herself
The only touch she had was by a cigarette butt burning her skin
Burning into her psyche
Scaring deeply
The only warmth she felt was from the ashes
Crumbling to the ground along with her self-worth
The only warmth she felt was from soiled sheets and blankets
Which became her shield of protection
Against constant bickering
And unforgiving caretakers
The only warmth she felt was from scalding hot water
That filled the bathtub
Thrown in and held down against her will
Learning not to scream
Not to cry
Keeping the pain within
A pattern she repeats
Leading to her self-mutilation
And self-destructive habits and choices


That is why she runs
When she sits in front of a warm fire
And basks in the heat
Its mesmerizing glow
Although appealing
It’s unfamiliar
Uncomfortable
Terrifying
So she looks for the hot coals
And reaches too close
Time after time
Because of the familiarity
Because it’s all she knows

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