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Decisions...Decisions

Eric Burbridge

    Roll the dice, flip the cards; hit the button and stack the chip, which intrigues the hell out of me. I’m not a gambler; I’m an observer of gambling or gaming. I observe the affect those inanimate objects have on those who can least afford it. The retired or disabled senior citizen, the blue and white collar workers who think they’ll beat the odds. I frequent several casinos in the metropolitan area. Today at “The Green River” I’m sitting at the center bar observing a small group clustered by the fifty cent to a dollar slots in the center of the floor. It was the end of the month and scores of seniors played the penny slots. My wife, Charlene loved the pennies, “They sing the longest,” she said, and off it went. She smiled and blew me a kiss.
    A familiar face sat on the other side of the bar. Where have I seen that guy? He was clean shaven, but the last time he had a week old beard and kept that look. Ah...Clinton, that’s his name. He went from mechanic to the academy. I don’t need to think about the job. The doctor stressed “Don’t think about work.” The meds work best with positive thoughts. Right. Don’t let the voices win. Why blow the extended medical leave of absence. Don’t think about the job. Don’t.
    Big Willie, an ex-NBA player with a clean shaven head, beard and a bright smile bought me another Miller. “This one’s on me, Flash. I see the wife’s hitting.” He said and refilled the peanut bowl. My friends call me, Flash. I have a lightning bolt tattooed on my forearm, but my name’s Lewis Flashner.
    I nodded and took a sip. “Yeah, I’m glad, happy wife, happy life.”
    “You really believe that?”
    “Yeah, my dad told me that. Now if she could only hit it big.” I said and we laughed. Hit it big, everybody’s fantasy. One of the golden girls, a group of three little ladies with silver hair shouted out. If she won over a couple hundred bucks I’d be shocked. How they survived in the cloud of smoke that lingered in that area was anybody’s guess. I made it my business to sit under the nearest exhaust vent.
    Charlene fanned her nose when a short fat cigar smoking guy in a ragged security guard uniform sat next to her. She wore her newest blue pant suit and hated smelling like smoke. She meandered through the crowded aisle and slipped her ticket into the payout machine. She turned, caught my eye and pointed at the carousel of dollar machines. She parked herself on one next to the main aisle. I text her. Good luck and I might try mine later.
    Two seconds later: Omg...I knew this crap would happen. All off duty EMT’s report ASAP Code1. Glad we drove separate cars. Call me. She waved and hurried to the exit.
    Willie returned and said. “Look behind you at our favorite eye candy.”
    I spun on my stool and Alexandria stood next to an older gentleman wearing a cheap toupee and red shoes, frustrated he packed up his stuff. The machine got him; he fell for the taste, a win here and there to keep you sitting. The longer you sit the more you lose. That’s the logic. Everybody loved Alexandria. She was a tall graceful woman with an hour glass figure, an oversized behind and short blonde streaked hair. A flawless tan, manicured nails and toenails that were coordinated with whatever outfit she wore. Her smooth voice, quick wit and seductive personality spelled trouble for guys who loved pretty faces like me.
    But, she was a compulsive and a losing one at that.
    She kept money though people who wanted her time saw to that. Too bad, at some point the hustle will be her and others like her undoing. I’d never met her, but we’d exchanged nods here and there. “She working the crowd or the machines?”
    “Both.” Willie said. “Her clothes must cost a fortune or either she knows how to shop or she might make them herself, which I doubt.”
    “So do I. She might go to the second hand store; they got quality stuff. You can dress like a jet setter for half the price.”
    “Never thought about the resale places, makes sense.” He wiped the area. “Listen to the machines...ding-a-ling. Money for a minute and then silence and more empty pockets.” We laughed out loud.
    “You know I’m surprised you haven’t hit Alexandria, you’re her type, right?”
    Willie shook his head. “Nope. I learned when I played ball those types will destroy your heart. I talked to her for a few minutes and man she’s easy to talk too. It was like I’d known her for years. That’s dangerous for me, I’ve been through a divorce and damn near lost it all. I bet you she got one helluva piece of tail on her though. But, she ain’t puttin’ a pussy whoopin’ on me.”
    I laughed and downed my beer. “Well, Willie I think I’ll try my luck. I agree with you, but I’m going to sit next to her and maybe her temporary good fortune might blow my way. I know when to quit.” I brushed by jackets and bags that hug on chairs and the murmuring, whispering profanity and the electronic magic of the spinning reels. I pulled the seat out and she glanced at me and smiled. My heart melted...man she was a beautiful creature. “Hi, how are you?”
    “Good.” Her smooth response gave that word new meaning.
    Gamblers are strange, anything, let them tell it, can change their luck. She kept pushing buttons and I inserted twenty in the Wheel of Fortune machine. I hit when only five bucks was left. The rollup sounds of winning made you think I’d won a fortune. The beauty next to me won a few times. She paused to light a cigarette. “My name’s Lewis Flashner, you can call me ‘Flash’ if you like, my friends do.”
    Her face lit up, she extended her hand. “Nice to meet you and call me Alexandria...not Alex, please, I got a thing about that.” I agreed and we shook. “Do you mind if I smoke?”
    “Yes.”
    “Cool, I don’t need them anyway.” She kept smiling and I couldn’t help but scope the cleavage of her low cut blouse. Beautiful. We conversed between play. I was impressed. Alexandria was a math teacher at a local two year college and a former civil engineer. She said her modeling inspirations ended at age thirteen. The reasons were obvious; her curves killed that. She hit the button and said, “Her gambling was a hobby she loved.” A shame an educated woman in denial. As they say said she could charm a snake. Somebody was lucky, if and only if, they could tolerate a compulsive. Twenty minutes later see slammed her hands on the machine. “C’mon, goddammit!”
    “Patience, patience.” I said.
    She cut her eyes at me and I virtually bleed to death. “Yeah, right. Fuck this I’m going to the blackjack tables.”
    “Want me to keep it warm for you?” I tried to lighten the moment.
    “No, Flash, it’s as warm as it’ll get.” She snapped and walked away. I draped my jacket over the chair and slid over in the seat. I fed it a ten and hit the button. The pay line read all diamonds.
    Boom! I jumped for an instant. Did I hit the jackpot or what? The machine went crazy; bells flashed, music played and a crowd gathered. Charlene is going to love this! I watched my money total. Somebody grabbed my shoulder and dug their fingers in between my collar bone. Alexandria whispered, “Thanks for keeping my seat warm, we’re rich.” She kissed my cheek and nibbled on my ear. I snatched her hand.
    “No, you left, remember?” My shoulder hurt like hell. Man, she had a grip. The floor manager and other officials broke through the crowd with a huge symbolic check for 866,598.00 bucks. I loved the smiles, congrats and the pictures, too bad Charlene wasn’t here. I looked around, no Alexandria, good, but I had a bad feeling about her. The celebration ended as fast as it started. Time to meet the taxman. I filled out the forms; they robbed me, but what can you do? I took two grand in cash and told them to cut a check for the balance in the morning. They offered a complimentary contemporary presidential suite for 36 hours. I accepted.

*

    Contemporary was an understatement. There wasn’t a piece of wood in the bi-level suite. All furnishings were white leather, chrome and stainless steel on plush white carpet and fresh flowers and fruit in every room. Electronic sensors operated everything; voice and touch command of the ultimate electronic security and surveillance system.
    I finally got in touch with Charlene and she screamed. “And, you should see this suite, straight out of Architectural Digest. I’m going to take a shower order a porterhouse steak and get drunk; not necessarily in that order. I left your keycard at the desk in case I’m asleep.”
    “Honey, I can’t wait, see you soon.” Charlene hadn’t sounded that overjoyed in years. I kicked off my shoes and my feet sank into the carpet while I raided the bar. I dropped a couple of cubes into two fingers of Johnnie Black Label and jiggled the glass.
    What should I do with all that money?
    Whatever, it’ll make the decision to leave the job easier.
    The view of the lake and skyline was spectacular. The sun set, but the swirling golden ribbons in the clouds felt special today. Two drinks later I needed a shower. I flipped off the deadbolt in case I went to sleep. The multi-directional shower heads lined the wall gave me the experience of a complete cleaning. I patted here and there with a thick white towel on the way to the bar. A drink down the hatch and I headed for the master bedroom. I pushed the door and said, “Lights.” In the middle of the king size on blue satin sheets, Alexandria lay on her back naked with the most beautiful set of tits I ever saw. No stretch marks, no lines from her undergarments or uneven skin tone on her. Beautiful, perfect! She parted her thick thighs and revealed pubic hair that covered the hidden valley. I stared and my robe opened. Her eyes widened. “Wow, bring it over here right now.”
    What the hell was I thinking? No telling when Charlene will come through that door. She must’ve gotten her key somehow. “How did you get in here? Get your clothes on and get out!”
    “That’s my secret.” The angelic smile turned demonic right quick. “You owe me asshole that was my machine, remember?” I walked over and grabbed her arms. She tried to kiss me; I ducked. She pulled away, rolled out of the bed and hit me in the gut with a right jab. Air shot out my lungs, I doubled over, paralyzed I gasped for breath. She pushed me on my side. “I want my money,” and stood over me with her legs spread. If she pees in my face I’ll kill her. I was rock hard. She eased her foot on my genitals and massaged them with her toes, up and down, up and down. My lungs expanded back to normal. Jesus, Charlene was en-route; if she sees this I’m dead.
    The massage was good. I looked up in her excitement filled eyes. “That’s good.”
    She whispered. “You like it, baby?” and closed her eyes. Now Flash! I grabbed her ankle, snatch it and she toppled on the bed. I jumped on her, in mid bounce her leg shot between mine and she kneed me in the nuts. I groaned, grabbed my groin and I was locked in the fetal position. She flipped me in a second and smacked me in the throat. I gagged for a second and both her hands were wrapped around my neck. Her blows were light, but disabling. She had the height and weight advantage; she weighed two hundred plus at six feet. I’m five seven, thin, but solid. She sprawled across me like a victorious wrestler. The angry grin on her lovely face said it all. I just kicked your ass. I didn’t know which hurt the most, my nuts, throat or my pride.
    Fuck it, I’m dead. I imagined the look on my wife’s face when she walks in and sees this.
    Alexandria straddled me, reached around and grabbed it, squeezed and stroked it until it shot to attention. She thrust downward and moaned. She was moist, warm and tight. I clutched her hips and tried to withdraw, but her muscles gripped me like a Chinese finger trap. Who’d believe she was raping me. Nobody. What the hell. I reached up and kissed her. Her tongue explored my mouth, then she whispered, “Give it to me, baby.” I flipped her and cupped her behind. The dog in me took over, we moved in harmony. “Give it to me, baby.” I couldn’t hold back and she took it, all of it, every drop. We panted for a minute and she pushed me off. She slipped into the bathroom and two seconds later she hurried out in a bathrobe and headed for the door.
    “Wait a second.” I chased after her. She was out the door, ran down the dimly lit hall and cut the corner. Where was she going? What room? Ding...the elevator doors opened. Oh shit, Charlene. I pushed up my door and peeked. An elderly couple exited and went in the opposite direction. Thank God! I leaned against the door and looked down at myself, still wet and half erect. The voice said, “She made a fool out of you.” My heart pounded. “What if your wife came in there? Tell her it was rape you idiot.”
    “Shut up.” I grabbed my head and took deep breathes. I went and got my meds. Don’t take with alcohol...So what it’s time.” I downed the pill and water and flopped on the bed. I felt like a fool. I was too old and experienced to get played. What will she do? Take your pick, “He raped me or Flash, I think or I am pregnant.” My cell rang. Charlene. “Hello.”
    “Hey, honey I got bad news. There was a train derailment near the airport. I have to stay...” I sighed and grabbed my chest. “Lewis?”
    “Yeah, I’m here. Ok, how long do you...nevermind, you don’t know.”
    “Sorry...I’m so sorry, but I’ll stop by the house and get us a change of clothes.”
    “Ok...be safe.” The phone went dead. I had countless heart attacks and she was nowhere near the place. My flesh squawked, I could still be in Alexandria. I shook that thought and fell back on the bed. For the past year I’ve made tremendous progress in my battle against mental issues.
     Lewis Flashner, Vehicle Maintenance Manager, escaped voices saying all kinds of shit only to have them return because of a compulsive gambler.
    The stress of managing the vehicle pool of the largest police district in the city overwhelmed my positive outlook on life. I made my job easier by literally rolling the dice. I take a stack of work orders and roll the dice; if the number shown was the first digit on the order it got done.
     My inner ear kept me safe for years and then it got too loud, really loud. I answered it too often. Charlene brought it to my attention. I was in denial until I did that in front of my superiors. Straight to the department shrink I went. A suggested medical leave of absence followed and the more the meds helped the more I liked being away from that cesspool. I’m laying here rethinking the shit I left behind. The alcohol minimized my meds; Clozaril worked for me with no side effects. The doctor recommended a daily dosage, but I cut that in half when the voices subsided. I doubled it, it shouldn’t hurt this once.
    Why am I laying here? Get out of this room you’ll feel better. That voice wasn’t loud, normal like a thought should be. I pulled open the night stand drawer. I was a grand short. That damn Alexandria got me, again. Well at least she left me two to play with, the greedy bitch. I felt funny in the same clothes, but if I buy an outfit Charlene will have a fit. Another shower, press my pants and shirt will do.

*

    The casino floor’s night crowd made the usual noise, but the volume on the machines seemed louder or had my double dose of meds kicked in? My favorite bartender left ten minutes earlier. The short narrow hipped young blonde didn’t hesitate to show her reluctance to accept my friendly introduction. She wasn’t my type. I got raped by the most beautiful women around — why would I make a pass at her? She should be flattered if anybody said hello. No tip for you, sweetheart. I took a swig of Miller’s when the overweight guy next to me fell off the stool. After gasps and giggles a few guys helped him to his feet. The crowd laughed and clapped while his buddies virtually carried him away. The guards laid back and followed them to the exit. Alexandria slipped right into his spot. “Hey Flash, how are you now?”
    I wanted to punch and kiss her at once. “How you think?” I got too loud people stopped and stared...I stared back; they looked away. “You’re one bold female, don’t mess with me and get to the point. What do you want?” She’d changed into a diamond studded olive denim pant suit. She beckoned the unattractive barmaid.
    “I’ll have what my friend’s drinking.” Her voice was a killer, smooth and sexy. “I know what you’re thinking, Flash. You expect me to say, give me my money or I’ll claim assault since you flooded me with evidence.” She laughed. “Flash floods...get it?”
    “No, I don’t.” I turned up my beer while she poured hers. Is she wearing a wire or was there a camera in the room? I didn’t think to look. I must be losing my mind. She rubbed my leg and her hand inched its way to my crouch.
    “I enjoyed you, Flash.”
    “Bull, move your hand.” I didn’t want to say it, but if she wore a wire she won’t admit it. “You raped me, Alexandria. Why me anyway, I’m an average looking guy with a broken nose and I’m near fifty?”
    “You rejected me, so I took it. And, you and I know who’s going to believe you?” What could I say? I pushed away her probing fingers. “That’s behind us; don’t be mean.” She put her hands on the bar. “I admitted it, Flash. I’m not wearing a wire or none of that stuff, relax.”
    “Get a lawyer. You don’t have a case and you know it. Are you crazy or what?”
    “No, I am not, I possess huge spiritual powers with backing from powers humans cannot comprehend.”
    “The witch queen from New Orleans.” I smiled at the frown on her face. “Sorry, no money, honey.”
    “I am not a witch, you got that? I need 50k and I’m at your service whenever I’m needed...at least most of the time. I like you and it.” She gazed down at my crouch while her tongue glided across her glossy lips. “Not many guys hear that from me. Be nice Flash, enjoy me, don’t make me get ugly. Here’s a small demonstration.”
    She raised her hands. “Oh, no, hocus-pocus.” I giggled and pretended to be serious. She touched my knee and a sharp pain shot through my knee cap. “Ouch, that hurt.”
    She killed her drink. “Ah...I’ll be in touch, enjoy yourself,” and she walked away. All eyes followed her behind toward the slots.
    Voodoo, spells and spirit, like I’m supposed to believe that crap. I felt drowsy, but finished my beer. When I stood my knee ached. I needed something on my stomach, a double cheeseburger sounded good. I headed for the grill and then back to my suite.

*

    It was hazy, warm and singing in the background of the forest. I fanned and walked through a cloud. “Lewis, are you woke?” My eyes popped open. Charlene stood at the entrance to the bathroom. I cleared my throat.
    “I thought I heard singing, good to finally see you.” She continued to dry her hair. “You forgot your dryer?”
    “Yeah.” Her long thick Black hair stopped midway down her back. The last time I suggested she cut it I got silence. Three inches taller than me, full figured, beautiful legs and thighs and firm heavy breast she was no Alexandria, but I wouldn’t trade her for a hundred Alexandrias. We’ve been through two separations those twenty years and another indiscretion and I’ll lose her forever. I hope Ms. Wigglebottom doesn’t force my hand.
    “Come get in the bed, I’ll brush my teeth and be right back.” She dropped the towel and got in.
    “You were tired, snoring and you moved my hand. You hurt my feelings. Don’t you love me anymore?” Charlene laughed.
    I spit out toothpaste. “Sorry, alcohol and burgers equal weird dreams...I should run and jump in, but my knee feels like it wants to buckle.”
    “Walk then and show me what a good night’s sleep can do.”

*

    The clouds and rain moved in quick. We rushed to the parking lot and that aided in digesting our huge breakfast at the buffet. The bank opened at 9:00 am and I couldn’t wait to surprise Charlene with 200k to do what she chose, provided she didn’t leave me, of course. I’ll see how she reacts to that joke.
    I decided to keep my Acura, it wasn’t new, but it never gave me any trouble. The young personal banker keyed whatever in her computer. She smiled and brushed her red hair behind her Bimbo like ears and turned the computer screen to review our accounts. “It’s not often we deposit that amount of money from the casino. I’m jealous I can’t win fifty bucks.” She laughed and pointed at the screen. “You see this, these are your accounts and the changes we talked about.”
    We agreed. “Thank you.”
    “Oh, I forgot that envelope.” Charlene said, and rambled through her purse. “It must be in the car.”
    “What is it?”
    “My OT check...be right back.”
    Charlene stood on the curb and a black Ford Expedition approached, slowly at first. It sped up and swerved toward her. My heart skipped a beat. She jumped back and the SUV regained control, stopped at the entrance to the lot and jumped out into northbound traffic. The banker gasped, “What’s wrong with that fool?” Charlene shouted obscenities at the driver and stared at the truck speed down the street. She retrieved her envelope and returned. She smiled passing a few customers and frowned when she sat.
    “Did you see that? She damn near hit me...it was like she was trying to scare me, crazy bitch. Excuse my language, Ms. Pelley, but, well you know.” She giggled and we finished our business and left. “I’m still shaking, Lewis. She had a crazed look in her eyes. When I think about it I think I saw her rolling her eyes at us/me at the buffet.” Charlene sighed and snatched open the door. “Crazy bitch.”
    “What she look like?”
    “Pretty, tall curves with blonde streaked hair.”
    “Relax Charlene; is it possible her hand slipped off the wheel or something?” She gave me that stare. Alexandria’s gone too far. I’ll kill her for messing with my wife.
    “No, Lewis, I don’t believe it.” Charlene exhaled hard. “You know, forget that suite let’s go home. Ok?”
    “Cool with me.”
    “I forgot to tell you I have to work tonight to cover for Richards, sorry.” She rubbed my leg and her fingers crept up my leg. I giggled. “I’ll make it up to you.”
    “After a 200K gift you better.” Alexandria fucked up; when Charlene leaves for work I’ll make a beeline back to the casino. I’ve got a plan.

*

    I rubbed and drummed my fingers on my knee. Pain killers and anti-inflammatory meds hadn’t worked. Alexandria showed her power. Right...I wish I would believe that foolishness. Coincidental instantaneous arthritic flare up was the answer. But, those tattoos on her neck and the wrist bracelet she wore symbolized voodoo. I’m not a believer in the supernatural. True, there are things that can’t be explained, but it never happened to me. When I talk to her I’ll ask does she believe in ‘BigFoot’ and the like. The walk into the casino was challenging. What I wouldn’t give for a cane right now. I slipped a ten into the slot machine, hit the button and scanned the floor. Alexandria should pop up out of nowhere. I waited by the craps tables, roulette wheels and the blackjack, no Alexandria. Perhaps she anticipated my move? Playing mental checkers with this female won’t work; the best strategy, chess.
    Two slow moving freight trains, a safety check and a gaper’s block later I pulled in my driveway. I hesitated to hit the button and stared at the three door garage. We worked hard to build our life style. Our blessing Charlene said, but Alexandria wanted to be the proverbial ‘the rain must fall’ in our lives.
    Over my dead body! I hit the button and pulled into my world.

*

    My spirit had been rejuvenated, time to get to work. The desktop took its sweet time to boot up. Damn viruses. The cable company said their virus protection was the best. I beg to differ, but what other choice do I have? I could no longer access the department system, but I’ll still check the department’s reluctant partner social media. It’s amazing what people share and then they complain when “Big Brother” uses it against them. Stupid. The doorbell rang. Who is that? Matt Whelan’s smiling face appeared on the monitor. I opened the door and, “Hey Matt, how are you?”
    “I’m good, what are you doing? I saw you pull in, are you busy?”
    “Uh...no, not really, what’s up?” Matt was the bouncy type who moved all the time. He wasn’t nervous; I guess active best describes it. He looked like a model and all the ladies on the block admired him. He owned several chicken shacks, but he didn’t eat fried foods. Go figure. A health nut with an insatiable appetite for money.
    “You and yours come to the house I’m having a bar-b-q.”
    “Ok, see you in a few.” He dashed down the block like an Olympian. I wouldn’t miss his gathering for the world.
    Surprise. Charlene pulled up, waved and eased in the garage. She took her time after smashing her mirror last week. “What happened?”
    She kissed me. “Change in plans, Richards came in. At first I was angry, but who just won big money? What did Matt want?”
    “Bar-B-Q at his place and I’m starving. I want to go, but my knee is bothering me.” I rubbed it. “A crazy drunk put a hex on it for winning all that money.” If I told her the truth instead of a knee to the nuts, I’d stop a bullet.
    “Oh really.” Charlene led me to the sofa in the den and put her hand on it. “I renounce this evil action in Jesus’ name, Amen. That’ll stop that mess.”
    I stretched my leg several times. “It’s gone, no pain, that’s amazing.” It’s a mind thing, but I dare not say it. I stood and paced around like I was trying on a new pair shoes.
    “Ok now?”
    “Yeah.” I said
    Charlene laughed. “Praise the Lord. One day you’ll see the light and come to church where you belong. And, I’ll leave that alone and you can go to Matt’s without me I might be there later. I’m going to take a nap.”

*

    The old school house music sounded good, it churned my soul and my stress eased. My knee throbbed no longer. I knocked and pushed open the wooden gate. Several retired couples, several middle aged couples and the rest were young and single. They played yard games, danced and mingled. The outstanding things about a Whelan’s party are the beautiful people, pretty boys and girls. The crème of the crop in their various professions. They came in all colors and heights and not an ounce of fat on them. Many were in the medical fields, a few lawyers and entrepreneurs. Thank God for the heat and humidity the females were skimpy dressed. I saw nice nipples and pants lines of those who wore them. I know Charlene will gawk at the bodybuilders and that’s okay, I married a good woman not a perfect one.
    I hadn’t been back here all summer. The new redwood deck must have cost a fortune. Matt sat in his chair like a king on his throne. I said all my hello’s and headed for the beer cooler. “Hey Matt, the cooler’s almost empty.” He gave me the thumbs up. I plunged my hand into the icy water and got the last Heineken and unscrewed it. Somebody tapped my shoulder. I turned and Alexandria smiled. “Hey there, Flash, small world isn’t it?” She laughed and hugged me like we were friends. I played it off. Don’t make a scene, Flash.
    Damn, what is she doing here?
    “Alexandria, good to see you. What are you doing here?” That hug and slight caress gave me a semi-hard on. She wore a sheer silk like blouse tied in a bow under her breast exposing her narrow flat stomach and waist with shorts that couldn’t help but hug her wide hips. Her feet were bare with metallic toenail polish Matt’s back lawn was a picture perfect green even cut. You didn’t need shoes.
    “Don’t look so surprised, I’ve known the Whelan’s longer than you. I said I’m an educator and engineer.” She rubbed her fingers together. Been looking for me?”
    “Yes and no,” I lied. “But we do need to talk about a little something, like my wife.” She got a strange contemptuous look on her face. “But, first I’ll mingle a bit and then we talk.” I squeezed her arm and smiled. “Got it?” I walked away.
    “Lewis wait.” There was that smirk again. “Want to go in the back bathroom and get a quickie?”
    “Really Alexandria? No.” How did she know there was a back bathroom? She gets around. One thing about her, she fits into the Whelan crowd.
    If and when Charlene shows up I hope she doesn’t recognize Alexandria. She wore a wig or either she colored her hair. Another step ahead or a bad hair day? Either way I won’t be staying long. I finished mingling and cornered Alexandria by the badminton net.
    Keep a smile on your face, Flash.
    Jesus...voices again!
    “Don’t mess with my family, Alexandria. You got a problem with me keep it that way, understood?”
    “Fuck you too, Flash.” Alexandria said, with a smiley snarl. “How’s your knee?”
    “Healed. Go stick that voodoo crap, you don’t have to answer me, but at the least you should heed the warning.” She smiled like she was telling me to go screw yourself.
    “You know what I want.” She sighed. “But, you aren’t listening. I guess my knee and your nuts will have a reunion.”
    “That’s the only way you’ll win...temporarily.” I walked out the gate. I should’ve said bye to Matt, but it would’ve come out wrong. My pressure was up, I felt light headed.
    I’m going to put Alexandria out of my misery.
    Time to think, but first how will it be done? Bullet to the head, an easy decision, by a small caliper weapon. Recon and surveillance will determine the final decision when and where.

*

    “Charlene I’m back.” No answer, she must be asleep. I started up the stairs, got to the top and heard snoring. I didn’t know she was that tired. I popped another Clozaril and got on the computer. Alexandria said she worked at the city colleges. I went to their website and checked the faculty. There she was, Professor Alexandria Bellock, math and engineering, impressive, beauty and big brains wasting away via gaming. Damn shame. I would be one of many acquaintances looked at after her demise. I checked the e-mail account, nothing out of the ordinary. And, now Professor Alexandria Bellock let’s see if I find you on Facebook. I logged in and keyed in her name.
    Bingo!
    Lovely picture, a million friends and let’s see...she attended MIT, she’s a Greek sorority member, whoopee-do. But she’s highly upset about the governor elect proposed slashing of the funding for special education. She posted numerous photos of people with special needs. Where was that place? Was it a hospital or a school? I studied the background of the pictures and no indications where they were taken. How would I find her address? Follow her from the casino. That was logical if she lived in the area, with plenty of apartments and condos. Assuming she did, she most likely taught at the college down the street. I checked the website again. The engineering curriculum was taught there. Dammit, school is out for summer. How did I forget? But, whatever classes were held, no engineering. Check for special needs institutions in the area. Good, I found two and hit the print button. I decided to wait for Alexandria to find me again, and follow her. Another long shot, but I’ll take it and in the morning I’ll decide which weapon to use.

*

    I did my stretches and kissed Charlene on the cheek and whispered, “I’m going for a run.” The birds chirped louder than usual, unrest in the fowl community. I’ll do my usual lazy regimen of three times around the Oakdale. I finished and went around to the back gate. The utility company’s easement was along the back of our property. An old electrical underground junction contained a special weapon I put together. If it was found the average person they wouldn’t realize it was a sophisticated zip-gun with a silencer. It’s a shame the things that rub off on you being around cops. I designed it for ‘one and done.’ The grounds natural shift made it difficult, at first, to pry open the box. I felt around with caution I didn’t want to scratch or scrapes my hand even with gloves on. No blood, no DNA equal no evidence if found.
    A long shot, but I’ve seen people get life over a long shot. I stuffed the pouch in my pocket, covered the box and assembled it in the basement. I double checked everything; no doubt it would work. A simple three piece assembly. I’ll put the silencer in the glove compartment, the trigger in the console and the barrel in the trunk. If I get stopped the pieces are simply strange looking tools.

*

    “Well, Big Willie we haven’t seen Ms. Wigglebottom all week.”
    Willie laughed until tears formed in his eyes. “Ms. Wigglebottom? You right...she got one don’t she?”
    “Yeah, I miss it.” If I wasn’t looking for her she’d be tapping me on the shoulder. I cannot win! Now what do I do? Follow your gut, Flash. I checked the addresses on the printout. First, I’ll stop by Young Adult Rehabilitation Institute located in an annex building next to Mother of Mercy Hospital.
    I entered the building under the scaffolding of a crew working on the roof and the building facade. The lobby was small, typical, cushioned chairs next to tables full of magazines. No TV or elevator type music and behind an elevated desk and security glass a little person studied a computer screen. She smiled and turned in her black leather high backed executive chair.
    “Hello, I’m the Director, Dr. Leslie Robinson, what can I do for you?”
    She spoke with an authoritative but kind voice. Her hair was short and she wore a beige pant suits straight out of Cosmopolitan Magazine. Her green eyes displayed intelligence with arched eyebrows and perfect white teeth. She was beautiful and curvy. A heart breaker by anybodies standards. “I’m Lewis Flashner, Dr. Robinson, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” She continued to smile. “A friend of mine, Alexandria Bellock asked me to stop by and check out the institute.” Her eyes lit up. “I’m thinking of early retirement and I’m interested in working with the handicapped.” Where in the world did that lie come from, Flash? “Is she here today?”
    She sighed. “We wish, we haven’t seen or heard from her in a week. That’s not like her all.” Dr. Robinson said, concerned and sad. “Are you thinking of volunteering?”
    “Uh...maybe.” I lied again.
    “Come in, Mr. Flashner.” She hit a buzzer and the door popped open. She reached up and took my hand. “Let me show you around.”
    “Ok.” She led the way through the freshly painted hallway. The tile floors had a mirror shine and a concave mirror panel at the intersection. We made a right turn into an open area. Several curtained sections lined the wall like an emergency room. A pale kid, completely bald came toward us in a wheelchair. Obviously the child was a quadriplegic. He controlled the chair with a stick controller in his mouth. He stopped and in a thunderous voice.
    “Are you a friend of Dr. Bellock?”
    I nodded. Tears formed in his big blue eyes. “Where is she, I miss her...tell her Tommy needs her. Ok?” My heart broke. A tear rolled down his rosy cheek.
    “Ok, Tommy, will do. I’m sure she’ll be here soon.” He reinserted the control in his mouth, turned and left.
    “As you see, Tommy is crazy about Alexandria.” A chubby Black girl on crutches with the brightest eyes kicked a beach ball toward us. I caught it and bounced it back. She waved and went back to her group of friends. Dr. Robinson said she was born with a severe speech impediment and a terminal brain tumor. Several nurses hardly noticed us while they performed their duties.
    So many innocents handicapped, how do they handle it knowing they’ll die soon, the majority will never set foot outside this place?
    Dr. Robinson introduced me to the remaining patients and staff. I was as gracious as possible; I couldn’t take it any longer. “Excuse me, Dr. Robinson, where’s the bathroom?”
    “Out the door, make a right and the first door at the end.”
    I leaned over the sink and splashed cold water in my face. My heart continued to flutter. I took a deep breath, exhaled and joined the director.
    These are the greatest and most compassionate people in the world!
    God, I admire their strength. How do they do it, day after day? I wondered how many, if any, dabble on the dark side like the revered Alexandria Bellock?
    “What do you think about the institute, Mr. Flashner?”
    “It’s wonderful the things you do here. I have several things I’d like to disgust when you have time.”
    “How about now I’ve got time? I’ll even order lunch, on me.”
    “Cool.” We headed for her office.

*

    On this fourth of the month the usual crowd thinned early. The slots were merciless and the house rejoiced. What do people expect? Hotels are the symbol of their prosperity earned, or given; by the people who can least afford it. Management closed the section of slots by the bar to empty and reset the one-armed bandits. I decided to play roulette which is the only game I have success. The fifty-fifty odds made sense. There was a decent crowd at the five dollar table. I did red or black keeping it simple and made a hundred bucks. For the past two weeks I hadn’t been stressed. No alcohol, no Alexandria, the revelation of her extracurricular activity and the meds silenced the loud voices again. I put twenty on red and watched the wheel. Two taps on the shoulder, I got tense. The surprise I’d been waiting for showed.
    Red hit again.
    I turned around. “Hello, Alexandria, how are you and how was the break, vacation or whatever you call it?”
    “Fine, let’s talk,” she smiled that smile. We stepped away from the table. “I see luck is with you.” I agreed. “Remember what I want?”
    “Yes, I do, Alexandria. When I talked to Dr. Robinson and by the way their concerned about you, I came up with a solution.” She turned sheet white.
    “What? How...did you?” She blinked several times.
    “How did I find out about your other job or whatever you call it? Facebook, the mysterious Dr. Bellock, I’m kind of good at puzzles, sometimes.” I grinned, she frowned. “Don’t pass out.”
    “I’m not passing out, Flash. Go to hell, are we done?”
    “No, I’ll make it short. You want fifty grand, you’ll have fifty grand, but I talked to my lawyer and Dr. Robinson. That or should I say, your fifty grand will be split, twenty-five to the Young Adult Rehabilitation Institution and the Children’s Hospital the other place you work. You looked surprised. I was shocked that a compulsive deceptive piece of crap like you has a good side. I guess you got caught up in an addiction. I’m not giving you a dime. Do what you think is in your best interest, but if your smart don’t bother me or mine again. Got it?”
    “I still got power over you, Flash.” Her voice quivered, she stood there, motionless with a blank expression. Something was wrong. Her eyes rolled in her head and blood trickled out her nose. She dropped to her knees and fell over. Several people rushed to assist her. I moved back and let security handle it. The EMT’s got there quick and Alexandria was on her way to the hospital.

*

    Charlene begged me to attend a big religious conference. I’m glad I did, it was inspirational, plenty of positive people with uplifting advice for all kinds of problems. On our return flight from San Francisco curiosity bit me. What happened to Alexandria? Did she survive whatever it was? Going to the casino and asking Big Willie was out the question. I wanted to maintain that spiritual high and going to the casino would be counterproductive.
    Contact Dr. Robinson, she should know.
    She smiled when I pulled the door. The buzzer to the backsounded before the door closed behind me. “Hello, Mr. Flashner, good to see you.” She cupped my hand and to the back we went. They all showed their appreciation for the support and the director suggested a place for me wouldn’t be a problem. I thanked her, but my visit was an inquiry into Alexandria’s condition. Unfortunately, she had a rare, but treatable brain tumor. In laymen’s terms she had a stroke. She was in a medically induced coma and whether she’d recover was anybody’s guess. Her family and friends prayed for a speedy recovery.
    Friends and family, I wondered if family did they practice the occult or what? Dr. Robinson also revealed she was being treated at the best facility in this part of the country. And, she has special friends who will pick up the tab after the insurance runs out. “Since you’re a friend I take you knew of her gambling problem?”
    “Yeah, I knew.” What an understatement!
    “Despite that the patients worship her. They like you too...it’s in their eyes.” The little director rubbed my hand and gazed up. “Stick around a while, at least a couple days a week.” The sincerity in her eyes melted my heart. How could I say no?
    “Ok.”
    Two months later what I feared could trigger too much stress and a return of the voices, didn’t. My emotional transition from pity to caregiver went smoother than I thought. “You’re a natural, Lewis.” They said. Charlene was pleased. “You’re glowing, Lewis.” She said. Well, if they say so. But, I think attending various church events helped.
    Forgiveness made sense, and move forward. “I forgive myself and I forgive you, Alexandria and others who have wronged me.”
    I introduced the weapon to my bench vise and took a three point shot at the recycle bin. The department approved my disability claim. Thank God.
    Winter was as bad as predicted and the groundhog didn’t see his shadow. Spring sprung and we got word Alexandria was on the mend, recovering quicker than usual. Dr. Robinson said her love affair with occult ended. I imagined Alexandria pouring her heart at a GA meeting. “I’m changed.” I’d love to be there. I changed and decided to join the church. Who knows I might do volunteer work there also.

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