ARSENIC AND THE BLACK DRESS
Dawn Miller
Tessa sent up a hasty prayer for forgiveness as she slipped on the dress Mama had brought her in exchange for a promise not to marry Al. Admiring her slim, muscular form in the full length mirror, a look of approval came into her eyes. The little black number hugged her curves in all the right places. The dark color complimented the thick auburn curls which hung loosely about her shoulders. There wasn’t anyone in Cape County, Georgia who could hold a candle to her and that fact was immensely satisfying.
While touching up the make-up she’d applied earlier in the day, Tessa could almost see the image of her mother in the mirror. Mama was dead set against her marrying into the Lambert clan. She said they were all poison and when Mama dangled the expensive carrot under her nose, Tessa just had to agree. The dress was after all a designer original. Mama couldn’t say Tessa didn’t keep the promise. In the end, she didn’t marry Al. She’d just killed him.
***
Sheriff Carl Jacobs eased his patrol car up in front of Tessa Turner’s beat up track house and sat for a moment, waiting for the dust to settle before getting out. The extra few minutes would give him time to decide what to do next. It sounded silly now but a plan of action hadn’t really crossed his mind until the car stopped. Running his fingers slowly through his sweat soaked graying hair he forced his mind to focus.
Tessa Turner had never been an easy fish to catch except in bed. She was nothing like the good old boys that ran moonshine over to Boone County. They usually broke down as soon as the flashing lights came into the rearview mirror. Not Tessa, she could sweet talk a snake charmer out of his oil and then stab him in the back while kissing him goodbye. Nevertheless, the arrest had to be made. The line had been crossed and they had her dead bang this time. Murder was murder whether he’d slept with her or not.
The hard evidence wasn’t much of a comfort and the only thing that made his job any easier was the thought that the women of Cape County would be breathing a sigh of relief once Tessa was behind bars. Now it would be simpler to keep their husbands on a short leash. Tessa could probably help the police close a couple of open cases she was a suspect in. That is if you caught her in the right mood.
The hollow sound his leather boots made on the rotted front porch steps echoed back as he finally took the walk from the car to the house. Two hard knocks went unanswered. On the third, some rustle of movement came from inside. Obviously Tessa wasn’t in any hurry to answer the door, probably admiring her traffic stopping figure in the mirror. After a couple of agonizingly slow minutes, the tarnished knob finally turned.
“Well, well, well Sheriff Jacobs,” Tessa cooed, running her tongue seductively along her bright red lips. “To what do I owe this pleasure? I’m afraid I don’t have time for a little afternoon refreshment. I am on my way to poor Al’s funeral.”
“Little late aren’t you?”
“A lady has to make an entrance.”
“That you do,” Jacobs remarked, trying hard to maintain eye contact instead of staring at the full breasts which were laid out in front of him like a prized Thanksgiving turkey. “This isn’t a social call. I’m here on official police business.”
“It’s always official police business with you honey. That’s why you like the cuffs.”
Carl reached for a crumpled up handkerchief in his pocket and wiped at his brow. The sweat was beginning to run down his temples. “Tessa we can do this the easy way or the hard way,” he said, feeling his cheeks color at the memory of Tessa naked and hand-cuffed to the refrigerator. The image was forever etched in his mind and that was why he kept coming back for more. She’d made him feel like a man and shamed him all at the same time. Sex with his dearly departed Alice had been proper and nice. With Tessa it was dirty and nasty. She did things to him he never knew were possible and after twenty years of nice it was what he needed.
Tessa reached through the open screen door and placed her hands on his broad shoulders. Carl was hoping the strong smell of perspiration and Old Spice would repulse her but instead she was all over him like butter on hot grits.
“You know I like it the hard way.”
***
A trail of discarded clothing led from the front door to the bedroom. The black dress dangled from the frame that held up the sagging mattress. It was the last thing he pulled off of her voluptuous body. Leaning his head against the worn out headboard, Carl rubbed his aching temples. His flushed cheeks grew hotter as he thought of how miserably he’d failed. The job had been to come here and arrest Tessa for the murder of Al Lambert and here he was lying in her bed, the bed of a killer. Regret turned quickly to disgust as his eyes focused on the aging incompetent image looking back at him in the mirror. Memories of the years with Alice came flooding through. Alice, smiling in her wedding gown, cradling their children in her arms and finally Alice being laid to rest in her coffin wearing her Sunday best. What would she think of the shell of a man he had become? It hadn’t even been a year since he buried her. The downward spiral had been quick. Maybe that was why the kids had been ducking his calls for months.
Rolling over to avoid the bitter pill of reality, he took the sweat soaked sheets with him. He was just about to drag his unworthy carcass from the bed when Tessa appeared. The rhythmic movement of her perfectly sculptured form sashaying across the room hypnotized him. His hungry eyes moved up to her glistening breasts as he took the glass from her outstretched hand. The lemonade was halfway finished when he pulled it away. An intense wave of nausea hit him. The glass shattered on the floor. Dizziness impaired his vision. He looked up in desperation, holding his hand out towards the spot where Tessa had been. She was gone.
***
Tessa grabbed the black dress and left the room before Carl had swallowed the first sip. She didn’t need to see it. With Al the arsenic in his after sex pick me up had done the trick, with the final dose putting him over the edge last week. Poison was so clean. It didn’t dirty your clothes, only your conscience and that was so much better. Who cared about your conscience? She hadn’t bothered with that since she was a little girl.
With a hard tug, Tessa pulled the bedroom door closed to shut out some of the painful moans. It would be over soon. Cyanide was quick and effective. Men were such babies when it came to pain even during sex. They only knew how to give it not how to take it.
Once again she slipped on the treasured dress and admired the outcome. Carefully she touched up her make-up. The rough tumble with Carl had given her skin an even rosier glow. Checking her watch, she grabbed her keys and headed out the door. Reverend George loved to drone on when he had a full house. There was probably still time to catch the end of the service.
***
When she arrived at the church, the lot was packed. Al had been a pillar of the community. Just about everybody in Cape County and then some were here to mourn dear Al’s passing. Before exiting the bright red pick-up, Tessa pushed up her already full breasts and stepped out as if she had just arrived at the country music awards. She hiked up the dress a little more and quickly walked into the church.
As soon as her spiked heels hit the tiled floor, she could hear the jealous whispers fluttering through the masses. Ignoring them, Tessa made her way to one of the pews and squeezed in on the end.
Reverend George had just finished up the service. The church was filled with the somber music of the choir as the pall bearers picked up the mahogany coffin and stepped down from the altar. The Lambert Family followed. As the coffin moved past her, Tessa slipped out of the pew and took the honored spot directly behind the dearly departed. Why shouldn’t she? She was after all Al’s former fiancée. The spiteful snarls of Al’s cow of a sister echoed loudly in her ears. When they reached the doorway, Tessa turned and hugged Al’s mother.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said loud enough for everyone to hear. “Al was one of the good ones.”
***
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” Reverend George said as the mourners lined up to toss a shovelful of dirt on top of the coffin. Tessa elbowed her way into the front. Those closest to her glared when she’d laughed out loud. The fools couldn’t see the irony of the dated ritual. Al could shovel it with the best of them.
The hugging and hand-shaking quickly came to an end after the last person paid their final respects. Dark clouds had replaced the glowing sun and most were anxious to start the walk back to the church to get into their cars. Tessa was leading the exodus when two police cars turned down the dirt path which led from the church to the cemetery. Many stopped to gawk but Tessa kept on walking. She hadn’t figured they would find Carl’s body so soon. Cape County’s finest were not known for their brains.
The lead car came to a halt a few feet in front of her. A door opened. “That will be far enough Ms. Turner,” said a firm voice from within the vehicle. When he stepped out, the wind began to pick up. The scene reminded Tessa of THE WIZARD OF OZ but instead of the wicked witch of the west there stood Earl Mullins, police chief extraordinaire, in all his glory.
Tessa turned to glare at the balding, over-weight, sorry excuse for a man holding court. All eyes were on him for the moment and he loved every minute of it. He had to be one of only a small handful of men in Cape County she hadn’t slept with and that was because the mere thought nauseated her.
“Can’t this wait, Earl,” Tessa hissed. “I’m in mourning here.”
“Is that what you call it,” he asked stepping forward. Chief Mullins made a motion with his hand and three officers exited the cars, drawing their weapons. “Stand still Ms. Turner and keep your hands where we can see them.”
Most of the congregation including Reverend George had caught up and Tessa found herself surrounded by what seemed like the entire town and then some. She should have felt the walls closing in on her but oddly she was aroused at their misconception. They thought they had her cornered but this was her moment to shine not Al’s and certainly not Earl Mullin’s.
“What is this about,” she said innocently.
“You know what it’s about, Ms. Turner. No need for the drama, just come along with us.”
“I’m afraid I don’t.”
Mullins sighed. “We found poor Carl.”
Tessa smiled coldly. “The sex killed Carl.” Several gasps came up from the crowd and the grin broadened.
“Not sex, poison, same as Al,” Mullins said. “Killing Carl is going to get you the death penalty.”
“I don’t think so but you can dream.” Tessa took two steps but stopped when Chief Mullins came toward her and wrapped his chubby hand around her thin wrist. He pulled Tessa roughly and handed her over to Deputy Sheriff Lonnie Tompkins.
“Put her in the car,” Mullins ordered. “We’ve all had enough of you.” He gestured to the crowd and the murmurs grew louder.
Tessa ignored them and smiled up into the baby face of Lonnie Tompkins, Cape County’s newest officer. He was as tall as a weed and with looks to die for. He would have been the perfect catch if he hadn’t been dumber than dirt. Lonnie took her arm and guided her over to a waiting squad car as if he were escorting her to dinner in a fancy restaurant. Obviously, Lonnie didn’t figure she was much of a threat since he didn’t even bother with the cuffs, his mistake.
After putting Tessa into the backseat, he slid in along side her. Mullins got into the front with another officer she didn’t recognize. Tessa grinned broadly. Lonnie couldn’t take his eyes off of her tanned legs. Lonnie was probably wondering if she was wearing panties under the form fitting black dress. Seductively Tessa glided her perfectly manicured hand down her side.
Lonnie’s eyes had drifted up to her breasts. Tessa licked her thick lips and put on her best Marilyn Monroe pout as she reached across Lonnie’s thighs to grab his gun. A menacing laugh escaped when the cold barrel touched her breasts. Lonnie’s surprised look was reward enough. The shot rang out long before his lips began to form a warning.
***
An early morning rain didn’t keep the curiosity seekers and the gossip mongers from packing the pews of the small Baptist church once again. Most sat silently, not wanting to speak ill of the dead, while others spread their vicious tales. Reverend George did his best to talk kindly of the deceased but it was difficult given the situation. In the end there was only one thing everyone could agree on. No one in Cape County, Georgia could hold a candle to Tessa Turner, not even in death.
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