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Down in the Dirt (v135)
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The Beer

Dene Williams

    It was a beautiful sunny Sunday. A couple of my college buddies and I decided to get together, drink some beer and play some cards. The problem was, you can’t buy beer on Sundays in Nashville, TN. Well being college students, none of us were from Tennessee. We quickly found this information out once we got to the store. After realizing that we wouldn’t be drinking any beer with our card game, we proceeded to my house.
    One of my college buddies informed me that he saw a quart of beer in my den, for real? I responded. Get it, put it in the freezer. We sat down and patiently waited while the bottle of beer began to get cold. We talked and laughed, anything to keep us from thinking about what we all were so anxiously wanting for. A glass of beer.
    Finally, the beer had gotten cold enough for us to drink. I couldn’t wait for that cold beer to slide down my throat. We poured up six cups of beer equally and made a toast. This beer didn’t look right to me; it was a little darker in color. I drank colt 45 for years, long enough to know what it looks like. I put the cup up to my nose. This certainly smelled like pee to me. I quickly put my cup back on the table. Pushing the cup away from me. I said, “I’m not drinking that; that’s not beer, that’s pee.” My college buddies all insisted that I was tripping. Saying that it was beer, that it smelled and taste like beer, that it was just a little flat. I told them, that I didn’t care how flat it was. I wasn’t drinking it. They took my cup of beer and split it between them. I made the choice to not go with the majority. As badly as I wanted beer that sunny afternoon, I had to go with my gut.
    The next morning, I was getting ready for class. My uncle asked me if I knew what happened to this bottle of pee, that he had in the den? My face blew up, as I blurted out the biggest laugh you’ve ever heard. My uncle asked me what was so funny? I told him the story about the my college buddies and the beer. This was way too funny, because I told my college buddies, that the bottle of beer was pee, but they wouldn’t believe me. Well my uncle just confirmed it.
    When I got to campus I couldn’t wait to tell my college buddies. No one wanted to accept the truth. They insisted that it was beer. I am so very glad, that I have lived to say, that I have never drank, any of my uncles pee. However, I do know five other people who have.



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