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Demographics

Valorie Kristen Ruiz

PLEASE SELECT THE RACE
YOU MOST IDENTIFY WITH:

1. White
My Mother’s skin color holds more bull fighting Spaniard
than Irish, but is speckled with honey glazed freckles.
Ask her to speak Spanish and you’ll be submerged
into a river of Mexican proverbs and secret tamale ingredients.
“Mas vale malo por conocido que bueno por conocer.”
How eloquently the language of this culture slips from the
lightest of our family, first U.S. born. I’m far from ivory
white, once spent time avoiding the sun in hopes of letting
my color fade. Instead of Victorian royalty I was remarked
as sickly and handed vitamin D. A scrunched up doctor’s face
reprimanded me, “Go outside more!”

2. American Indian or Alaska Native
My grandmother’s mother was raised in a tribe. History
of apothecary through each generation, medicinal agriculture.
It’s hard to recall a time without an arnica rub for inflamed
muscles. A time without tea for anxiety called: Diente de Leon
or “Tooth of the Lion”. Still I resist the idea of compressed
chemical symptom soothers. Instead, I replace pharmacology with
songs of chrysanthemums and Mary Jane because both teach me
to heal alone.

3. Black or African American
Harlem Renaissance! Rag time blues! Tell me my blood holds
counts from Jazz legends. Had I been born during a time when
people were called upon to be humane, I like to believe I’d have
opted for Civil Rights support over playing ignorant bystander.
I once paid a visit to my step-father’s father in Mexico City. Pop culture
magazines created a weary eyed grandfather who questioned how
much time must have passed for literature to feature Black men
on covers. Glossy magazines converted my grandfather to a pacifist.

4. Asian
Easter healers pricked my skin with painless needles and told
me to speak to the flowers for healing. “Drink the water they bless into tea.”
Oriental influences are subconscious in my family. Western doctors
diagnosed me incurable. Force benzos and pain pills while lacking eye
contact. Lifelong crushed opiates are not my desired
prognosis. The term “Holistic Doctor” can bring a slew of opinions
but it comes as a shock when seizures subside and joint degeneration
ceases to persist. Our family reveres Asian history but our veins don’t
hold much in terms of DNA.

5. Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander
Mi familia, Ohana. Is more than a blood relation. I find
the dedication to family admirable, though occasionally
debilitating. Women in my traditions have cared for the
family always before their own needs. Never resting. Caring
for others first, but never having someone care for them. Clashing
with their values, my soul hungers for experience. Longs to see
the Sphinx; the sunset of Turkey from a hot air balloon. Is it
selfish to want to live a life my own, deviating from our
900 square foot home?

Hispanic is not a race but a collage of cultures. My mother doesn’t have the answers
When I ask, “Who am I?” or “Where do we come from?” Instead her simple,
“You are what this generation is meant to be.” befuddles me.
The questionnaire holds my gaze, I select “White” because it spells blank
slate, the only choice I feel qualified for.

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