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Asteroid
Down in the Dirt (v142)
(the February 2017 Issue)




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Asteroid

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July-Dec. 2016
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the Light
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May-August 2017
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Bay of Pigs

Jon Brunette

    With his eyes wide, Peter stood inside his tenth-grade Biology class, looking like an Army soldier whose best friends had all died. His face looked like it did because his teacher had told him and his classmates that they would be dissecting fetal pigs during that hour.
    When Mr. Pearson brought the baby animals into their classroom inside three large buckets, like so much bubbly tar, Peter could feel his throat bulge. They were helpless; they couldn’t squirm, or squeal; they had all died, and their smell was worse than Lysol.
    “What do I do?”
    A classmate asked Peter, sitting beside his table; his face became as green as their junior high school hallways had been. Though it had seemed like forever, only two years had passed since they had dissected frogs in Grandview Middle School. Now, in their tenth grade class, it seemed childish to hurt these baby animals any more than they had already been hurt.
    Before anyone could slice into their animal, Mr. Pearson came back into the room with three more buckets filled with pigs, all of them looking like soldiers that couldn’t stop dying. As he came into the room, he couldn’t help but yell, because he couldn’t see anyone cutting into their pigs as if they had never been alive at all.
    Instinctively, he shook the bell on his desk that he would always use to quiet his students. Usually, it worked; his students hated that bell as much as criminals despised the gavel of the judge. “What the heck happened to all the fetal pigs?” He said, rattling his small bell harder than he had ever rattled it before.
    As if on cue, an echo of squeals came off the floor, and twenty-three pigs waddled around their teacher, in a very large, ugly pack, towards the other buckets. Peter and his classmates were heard inside their room, yelling as loudly as their teacher; only, their yells were the sounds of cheers unlike the wail of Mr. Pearson, who was about to be chewed apart as quickly as the hamburgers that they had all eaten for lunch.
    Peter stood beside his table, holding a book called Black Magic for Beginners, which had brought these baby animals back to life. He could hear his classmates yell: “We never wanted to hurt those baby animals anyway.” In fact, none of them had tried to slice into their pigs.
    Mr. Pearson became the only one hurt, and the bell became the only part of him that was not destroyed by those small animals. They took his legs first, and, then, after he had collapsed onto the floor, they chewed off his head with their bloody teeth, which were extremely small, and, yet, as sharp as razors and twice as lethal.
    After the bong brought their classroom time to an end, the principal continued to teach tenth-grade Biology for the remainder of the year. Although, for as long as students would go to Mound Westonka High School, no one would ever be allowed to slice into any more animal flesh. The dissection was cancelled shortly thereafter, because of a complete lack of cooperation on the part of everyone involved, and also because of the safety issues that it had raised.
    This cancelation happened because of Peter and his book.



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