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Consent

Charvae Johnson

    The tension loosens from my fingers as I breathe systematically. This is it. We’ve done it.
    “Babe, knew you could pass the initiation. Well done. Not bad technique either.”
    My eyebrows knit together, I look at Lucas. I chuckle nervously. “Yeah, it feels just...fantastic.”
    “Look, now, now we can relax a little. Just relax our nerves and wait until the surprise happens.”
    “Okay. Are you sure we are okay here?” I try to relax my breath as I bring the car into park.
    “Yes, we are fine, you are fine.” He reaches over from the passenger seat as he turns my face to his. I let him.
    I nod. “I hope you’re right. This wasn’t easy and if this was found out...”
    Lucas finishes, “There’s no turning back, yes, I told you this Terry, so relax.” He brings a drink from his pocket. “Here, has a drink.”
    I look to the drink, then back up to him. “Sure, “ I said, though he’s already noticed my hesitance.
    “Terry, “Lucas said, “What are you so scared of? I am not one of those guys. You just need to trust me. You need to relax, and this can help you relax. Okay?”
    Tears begin to fall as I swallow the lump in my throat, then I look to Lucas as the promise glows in his eyes. Maybe this drink will make the pain go away...

    I wake up in the back seat, inebriated and lethargic. My mind guides my eyes above me as they find Lucas again. He looks to be rocking against me, I let him.
    “I’ve always wanted this, you know that. You passed the initiation, and I am your prize. Just had to convince you a little,” Lucas said. He moves down to my ear, as whispers sweet nothings as his taut body moves with me.
    “You’ve wanted me? I never knew...” My eyes drift open and closed. This guy is amazing, and it feels so good. I bring his body closer, revealing my neck unconsciously.
    “Yes, I have. I always have, and will be the only one who gets to have you.”
    “Why?”
    “Questions will never stick to you right now baby, just give into me and let me do what I do best.”
    I moan in response. I’ve never felt so wonderful. I hope I can remember this in the morning, my body yields into his desires as I accommodate my own. I love this...

    I look down from the driver’s seat, my torso throbbing, there is red there, and my shirt looks.
    I glance to a note, as my mind fades in an out of consciousness, Lucas is no longer here.
    Baby, you helped me build so much tonight, I wish I could be here to thank you, but I had to go. And had to tie up some loose ends. You have to understand why things had to end like this. You witnessed and participated in a murder. You’re a little girl sweetheart. I couldn’t let you live with doing something that is only meant for the big boys. So I did the honors, and your suffering will end soon. I promise that you won’t be held responsible, and you will soon join your brother, who paid in the same way. Money is a drug, that cannot be quelled, and this was the only way. I was even falling in love with you. But my job came first so... I hope you can forgive me if you meet me in paradise...
    The paper crumples, oil falls, a lighter clicks, though my consciousness doesn’t yield me to care.
    My mind grows hazy, my body weakening. He’s killed me, and I can’t turn back. I feel my vision leaving, I lay against the cup holders, I’d rather no one see me die.
    This was the best night of my life, and the last. Lucas gave it to me, and I let him.

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