---

 

This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN#/ISBN# issue/book “Respect Our Existence or Expect Our Resistance” cc&d, v272 (the June 2017 issue - the 24 year anniversary issue) You can also order this 6"x9" issue as a paperback book:

Order this writing in the issue book Nothing Lasts the cc&d May-August 2017 collection book		get the 4 page May-August 2017 cc&d magazine issue collection 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

Question

Eric Obame

Art?
A fool’s gamble
Passion and hope in a black hole
What’s an artist?
Disappointment
Struggle
Running uphill
Swimming against the tide
Flying in storms
Art
My marriage, for better or worse, until death to us part?

Made a choice
Gave up steady pay and a set schedule
Years ago

I dream I’m homeless
Walking back and forth on the street median
Whenever the light turns red
Looking for a helping hand
A few dollars or some change to get through another day
I beg in the rain, in freezing cold, on the hottest days
Holding a sign claiming I have pride because I’m not a thief
Thank you for your help
Another homeless man, Robert, a street down holds a different sign
His is more direct, Give to the less fortunate
Two blocks further, Betsy, a homeless woman walks the line
With a sign saying she has kids to feed
Further away, Mike, a veteran, he says, receives a dollar
There is teamwork in our begging
But the result of it repeats
A window goes down
A hand comes out with a dollar or some change
I dream I’m homeless
I sleep in my car in a mall’s parking lot
Go to a bathroom there to clean up before stores open
And wash my dishes
Go to the library to work, power my laptop and print
Earn just enough from my art and odd jobs to pay for gas and insurance
To buy salads, bananas, juice and water at grocery stores
Or go to McDonalds
Contact agents and publishers, submit my poems and novel chapters
Enter my poetry, script, and book into contests
Surviving
I dream I’m homeless

Today, I failed to reach the final round of another contest
Today, another one of my poems was published
Tomorrow, I’ll be a successful artist?
Am I Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill?
Hope
My writing improves
I get better feedback, reach more finals
Enough success so I push on
When the path I’m on is littered with barriers like a labyrinth
I’m not Theseus, don’t have a string to find my way out of the maze
Hope is a curse

Losing is my religion
It’s natural, born with it
Not a snake, a scorpion, a spider, or a shark
Wasn’t born to kill
Human babies die without help, children same
What’s an adult who isn’t rich?
What good are dreams, if they don’t pay the bills?
What good is good if it doesn’t reward, if it doesn’t put food on the table?
What good is good, if I think I am, but I’m the only one who thinks so?
Being kind, helpful, moral, what’s the point if I’m poor?
Good deeds are pharaohs buried in gold, decorated memories
Wallet is empty, can’t afford problems
Misfortune is a lioness on the hunt
Downwind and hidden to avoid detection, creeping closer
I feel her coming
Wake up and get a regular job, be normal?
Head out of the clouds, feet planted on the ground?
Work long hours again, come home too tired to write, or write well?
Steal?
Every time I find a way over or around an obstacle
I’m slowed by another one down the road
I dream of who I want to be
But reality pushes me toward other paths
Which is braver?
To pursue my goals despite the numerous walls in the way, persevere?
Or accept the hand of fate and flow with whatever life hands out?
I don’t know my place

No
Conflict focuses me—makes me smarter, wiser, stronger, more disciplined
I’m grateful
Nothing will stop me from reaching my goals

Art?
A roll of the dice
The house always wins?
Not always
What’s an artist?
Creator
I write therefore I am?
How many times can I tell my parents I’m fine, before it’s a lie?
Have to believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel

The light could be a train

Copyright of written pieces remain with the author, who has allowed it to be shown through Scars Publications and Design.Web site © Scars Publications and Design. All rights reserved. No material may be reprinted without express permission from the author.

Problems with this page? Then deal with it...