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cc&d v174

The Book of Job, a True History.

IB Rad

As in most others,
our history begins
in the beginning
or, actually, more toward the middle,
with God protesting
Satan had subverted his works
and the Devil objecting
that the Lord was an imposter
and that, instead of Satan toppling from Grace,
it was God and His hapless minions
who were banished to that arctic void,
now euphemistically termed Heaven.
In retort, an offended God thundered,
with a sonic blast
that would have felled all but Satan,
“It was YOU who lost the contest!
��And it was I who birthed the earth,
��crafting humans to my likeness,
��breathing life into Adam
��and afterwards, Eve.
��Then, when Adam opened his eyes
��and beheld the virgin Eve,
��it was you, Satan,
��who thrust lust into his heart
��and defiled the innocence of my creation.”
And thus Satan answered,
“If mankind was made in your image
��truly a demon you must be
��for who else but an archfiend could beget
��the avarice and savagery of their being.
��And as you’re the self-proclaimed icon
��of all that’s “good,”
��humankind cannot be in your image
��but surely must mirror mine.
��It is I who took your ill formed clay
��and provided that craving for continuation
��that molded human evolution.
��But then, to sabotage my work,
��you sent a pestilence of rabbis, ministers,
��holy men, priests, and other pious parasites,
��to grow rich and sleek
��on human fear and gullibility
��and to provide the carrot and the stick
��to goad mankind to toe your line.
��So priestly acolytes scribed your holy writ,
��alleging the “righteous” would be rewarded with heaven
��and the “sinner” would face eternal damnation.”
“Desist!” cried God.
“Your sophistry and wit is academic;
��why quibble over details
��when we can let man freely choose between us?”
“Agreed!” jeered Satan, embracing the Creator’s challenge.
“Then, let us test a representative human,” proceeded God,
�� an ever dutiful and patient person, like, ahÉ,Job.
�� Each will reveal his path for Job’s ascendancy
�� and then we’ll see who reaps Job’s soul.”
“Resolved!” Roared the Devil,
“Let our contest begin
�� even though, should I win,
�� your minions will surely claim
�� my victory as your own.”
And so God spoke, “Job, Do you hear me?”
“Yes, my Lord and master,” trembled a startled Job.
“Job, your God and this apostate archangel, Satan,
�� have a proposition for you.
�� Each of us will argue
�� for your devotion to his goals
�� and then you must choose
�� which overture most pleases you.”
And thus God began,
“Job, if you follow my commandments
��and live a temperate, spiritual life
��of pious devotion to your Lord,
��a life of abstinence
��and penitence for the sin of Adam,
��I offer you a perpetual paradise
��in which you’ll dwell with your Creator,
��gliding airily through the cosmos
��to endlessly sing my praises.
“That sounds mighty good, my Lord,” mumbled Job.
“And now,” coaxed Satan,
“Hear my proposition, Job,
��so that you may tell us
��which is more to your liking.
��Job, my sole commandment
��is that you enjoy life to the fullest,
��without contrition or constraint.
��In short, I offer you an existence
��in which you’ll have matchless riches
��with which to indulge your every passion
��and to maintain a long and gratifying life,
��though, with none of God’s illusory immortality.
��But then, you won’t suffer that eternal torment
��of having to endlessly hymn God’s praises.”
Job thought a moment, though perhaps,
it was more like a day,
and then artfully replied,
“Satan, your offer rewards my basic inclinations
and conforms more to my true nature,
so I must generally choose to do your bidding.
However, my dear Lord,
��you know I truly love and worship you
��and pay lip service to your every commandment,
��so it’s truly an article of my unflagging faith
��that some day you’ll reward me with heaven.”
And then, while the Almighty brooded
and roundly cursed
humanity’s sanctimony and ingratitude,
Lucifer exulted,
“While Your holy fools may, in time,
��vainly seek to attain compliance
��by trying to terrify mankind,
��much as a parent does an errant child,
��humankind, by heart and deed,
��will remain forever mine.”



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