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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN#/ISBN# issue/book “the End of the World” cc&d, v279 (the January 2018 issue) Order this as a 6"x9" paperback book:  |
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Despite Myself
John Grey
So you’re lovers are you?
I’m eleven years old
and incapable of seeing little girls
as anything but other.
And you’re kissing.
looking deeply into each other’s eyes
while I kiss parents reluctantly.
and have no time
for staring at a person staring.
I can’t escape you that’s my problem.
You’re at the mall.
You’re in the park.
You won’t let go of hands.
I keep mine grubby just in ease.
My older brother finds you fascinating.
To him, you’re like a biology class.
He says it’s all in the technique.
When I unwillingly witness your antics.
I have this urge to run in any direction.
I’d cross streets in heavy traffic.
Or dash off into thick and lonely woods.
But I freeze for some reason.
I watch despite myself.
My older brother keeps bullying me with.
“Your time will come.”
That’s the future -
year upon year despite myself.
