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72 Raisins

Allan Onik

    Abu Bakr Al-Baghdadi squirmed in his Mosul palace chair. Surrounding him was Seal Team Six, outfitted in cybernetic gear with vision enhancements and armed with Hk Mk 23 SOCOM .45 handguns, Colt M4A1 5.56 assault rifles, and Hk MP5N 9mm submachine guns. Surrounding the team was a barrage of dead and mangled ISIS fighters. The officer held the SOCOM to the last ISIS fighter’s head while he stood in front of Al-Baghdadi.
     “Does he want to go to America for trial?” The SEAL asked.
    “Yes,” Abu said.
    The SEAL pulled the trigger. Blood splattered on Al-Baghdadi’s face, and the SEAL licked the blood from his own lips and smirked. “Too bad. Only I get to decide who gets a trial. You see, we aren’t in American territory. And this mission is X-Top Secret, so only us and The President know we are here. The Marines, Rangers, Delta Ops, and Army ground forces have stomped out the last of the cockroaches from the city. And when we learned there was a palace underneath the shrine you destroyed, Team Six knew where to find you. You’re fucked big boy.”
    “At least I will get to meet Allah now. You American infidels can taunt all you want. But we will never forgive you for your engorgement. We will never stop trying to kill you, and stomp out your so called precious freedom. I will happily leave my body, and allow my essence to disrupt the American pigs from my utopia.”
    “Oh yeah, you mean the 72 virgins, right? Well, careful analysis of your text has revealed that what you really get is 72 raisins. I always hated the things. Gimme a cheeseburger, hot dog, and a beer.” The SEALs all unloaded their clips.

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