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Down in the Dirt v051

RANDOM FEAST: Not Just Another Bump

G.A. Scheinoha

��Quick! Grab your silver bullets. Lycanthropy is alive in our midst, right here in Wisconsin.
��You’ve seen all those blood and gore horror flicks. So mywarning doesn’t send shivers straight up to the follicles. Exactly the way the black and white Wolfman movies did when I was a kid.
��Hey, I admit it doesn’t even have the same ring as Warren Zevron’s song,The Werewolves of London. But that isn’t just another bump in the night. We’ve got a beast afoot in the Midwest.
��Seems a woman invited a gentleman to sleep over on her sofa. In the wee hours, he broke through the locked bedroom door and attacked her. When the police arrived, he confessed he’s one of them.
��You know, the fellows who grow hair all over their face and a nasty set of dentures. No, not the shaggy DA, a (gasp) werewolf. Okay, so he isn’t Lon Chaney, Jr. walking with the Queen. Probably not even the durable, wash’n wear type.
��By now you’re probably throwing glances at the calendar. Is it Halloween already? Or muttering: must be a full moon.
��The story doesn’t end there. The woman is defending her assailant. She says he isn’t the monster everyone thinks he is.
��What kind is he? A zombie? A vampire? And where is Van Helsing when we really need him?
��Dunno about you but, just in case something howling this way comes, I’m falling back on the Bill Cosby smear the kitchen floor with jello so when he comes in for a bite, he slides right back out again trick. Ohh shoot, that won’t work. In all the excitement, completely forgot. My place is carpeted.



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