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Charlie The Question Frog

Eric Cook

    Headline from Bloomberg
    April 10, 2019
    “Amazon Workers Are Listening to What You Tell Alexa.”
    A global team reviews audio clips in an effort to help the voice-activated assistant respond to commands.

——————————

    Deep inside an inconspicuous office building, two technicians sit. A stunt like this could only be pulled occasionally and it had been almost a month since the last time.
    Soon someone would activate the new digital assistant “Charlie the Question Frog” in their home. And after asking Charlie most of the obvious questions like weather, theater listings or suggestions for dinner delivery, this was the question that sent alarm bells ringing.
    Charlie, when am I going to die?
    Barely suppressing a giggle, the tech pressed a button someone had conveniently labeled with a marker as ONE.
    Please wait a moment while I do some calculations. Charlie replied to the query.
    Looking over at the other tech, who was nodding his head up and down almost falling out of the chair in laughter, he pushed the button labeled TWO.
    I’m sorry, but Charlie is not allowed to tell you our results at this time. Has my reply satisfied your question?
    What the HELL! You know when I’m going to die but won’t tell me. Are you shitting me? I want to speak to a supervisor!
    Reaching up from the floor where both techs were now laughing so hard they were seriously contemplating calling nine-one-one, a hand felt around and pressed button THREE.
    Your response has been noted and a supervisor notified. You are number one million and seven in line. Calls are answered in the order they are received, please remain near Charlie while waiting for a supervisor.
    One million and seven? ONE MILLION AND SEVEN! I’ll frigging die waiting. I WANT TO TALK TO A HUMAN BEING NOW DAMN IT!
    The laughter coming from inside the room was now so loud it almost defeated the sound proofing on the hallway door. They listened as the registrant ranted at Charlie the Question Frog.
    Finally, after composing themselves and getting settled in, the tech reached over to button four and pressed it. At this point Charlie would answer with one of twenty-five randomly chosen responses. This was the best part for the techs as they were in the dark as much as the questioner.
    A moment later Charlie the Question Frog replied to the question.
    SOON!

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