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Where the Hell is She?

Conor O’Brian Barnes

    Where the Hell is she? Bethany Breckenridge thought as she lingered at the intersection behind the playing fields of her school. She called her mother but her phone went straight to voicemail. Thirty minutes passed, then forty, fifty, an hour. What the Hell is wrong with her? Why couldn’t she have planned her life out better? Why do I have to suffer for all the mistakes she’s made? Why did I have to be one of those mistakes? My dad, wherever he is, was smart to get away. He didn’t want to marry her after he knocked her up, and he disappeared into the ether.
    They could barely get by on her mother’s salary as a part-time waitress at Denny’s. When the lights went out in their apartment they’d have to wait for days and sometimes weeks before they could pay to turn them on again. If her mother had a practical bent of mind, if she had learned a trade, or had gone to college, perhaps they could’ve had a better life. Perhaps they could’ve had a home of their own, money in the bank, and a nice, respectable car that would never break down.
    After ninety minutes it was clear to Bethany that her mother wasn’t coming for her, so she set out on her long walk home. The lugubrious city was smeared with a layer of grime, and the snow from last week’s blizzard, now dusted with dark pollutants, was piled high on the sides of the streets like sinister, miniature mountains. Bethany called her mother once more, but again, it went straight to voicemail.
    Perhaps her rusted old Corolla had crapped out on her. Perhaps she got an extra shift at Denny’s. Bethany thought. But why hadn’t she called to tell me I’d have to get home on my own? She made it to the Denny’s where her mother worked after walking for half an hour, and asked for the Manager.
    “How may I help you?” he asked coming out from the back.
    “I’m looking for my mom. She works here and she didn’t pick me up from school. I tried calling her but her phone goes straight to voicemail. I don’t know if she was supposed to work today or not, so I came by to find out.”
    “Oh, you’re Teresa’s daughter, aren’t you?” the mustachioed Manager said. “Bethany, isn’t it?”
    “Yes, I’m Bethany.”
    “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Bethany. Teresa speaks so fondly of you. You’re the center of her world, you know. But I’m sorry, she wasn’t scheduled to work today. She works the morning shift tomorrow. Maybe she had an appointment. Maybe that’s why she didn’t pick you up.”
    “Maybe that’s it,” Bethany said. “I’m sure there’s a rational explanation. Maybe she just forgot. She’s probably at home by now. I’m gonna go find out.”
    “It was nice to meet you, Bethany,” the Manager said. “Say hi to Teresa for me.”
    “Will do,” Bethany said leaving Denny’s and heading down the street. When she got to her apartment complex, the sky seemed pregnant with deadly storms, and only the faintest wisps of light illumined the darkening clouds. She saw the rusted Corolla in its spot when she crossed the parking lot. Maybe the Corolla broke down again, she thought as she entered her apartment, but if so, why didn’t mom call and tell me I’d have to walk home?
    She heard the shower running in the bathroom and was relieved that at least her mother was alive and stirring. She sat on the sofa and waited for her mother to come out of the shower, but the water was still flowing twenty minutes later and she knocked on the door.
    “Mom? What’s going on? What’s taking so long? What are you doing?” she called out, but there was no answer. Twisting the knob and opening the door, Bethany saw through the smokescreen of steam her naked mother lying lifeless on the cracked linoleum floor. “Mom! Mom! What’s happened? What’s happened?” she screamed reaching down to comfort the fallen woman, but her skin, even in the steam-heated room, was deathly cold.
    Statistically speaking, it’s very unusual for a woman in her mid-forties to die of a cerebral hemorrhage, but that’s exactly what killed Teresa Breckenridge. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t a better daughter!” Bethany cried cradling her mother and holding her head to her heart. “You’re all I ever had in the world, the only person who ever loved me! Now I have no one, I have nothing. What am I to do? How am I to go on without you?”

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