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Seductive Despair

Olivia Arieti

    Mitzy was deep in trouble. She was broke, her bills overdue and finding a job was harder than she thought. Perhaps, moving to the city hadn’t been a good idea at all. Unaware of the urban jungle’s fierceness, the provincial girl with as much ambition as initiative had refused the post as a librarian in her hometown to become a model. The concrete soon crushed all aspirations, the bleak sheen of the glass shielded scrapers blurred all dreams.
    Her friend, Bruce, most well-off and head over heels in love, could have been a solution if only she liked him. Unfortunately, there was no chemistry. Besides, his lips were too big, as though they had undergone cosmetic surgery.
    That evening, Mitzy was disconsolate; the landlord had banged at the door claiming the rent, the electricity bill was due the following morning and the interview at the model agency had been a true disaster. Furious, she grabbed her lipstick and drew big tear drops on the bathroom mirror instantly turned into many red driblets by the vapor.
    Her talent had been stabbed once again. Would it ever stop bleeding?
    She had just slumped onto the couch when Bruce arrived with a bottle of French rosé.
    “Now, sweetie, I don’t want to see you so devastated, I’ll lend you all the money you need.” And added, “You know how much I care for you.”
    Only after lighting the last candles, she replied, “I have to make it on my own, honey. That’s what I swore to myself and to my dad when I left home.”
    In the meantime, Bruce had filled the glasses. The candlelight, the wine made her less tense and the room started warming up.
    A winsome smile brightened her face, enough to set him on fire.
    “Listen, baby, I understand your objections, but I am so intrigued by you that I’d do anything to have you...”
    He looked deep into her eyes before saying, “Sleep with me and I’ll pay you whatever you want.”
    Mitzy was dismayed. Apparently, he was treating her like a hooker... Or was he trying to help without offending her?
    The thought of his plump lips running on her body made her shudder; at the same time though, the landlord’s knocks resounded in her ears, and the pile of unpaid bills caught her glance.
    She led him to the little bedroom and the potential model turned into a first-time whore. Luckily, the effect of the drink was still strong and soothed all feelings of guilt and shame.
    The check on the kitchen table was conspicuous; for a while, all problems were over.

    That’s how it all began; since success seemed to take its time though, Mitzy was desperate quite often.
    The part time job at a local bar she had finally found wasn’t enough to end her troubles. To add to it, Gary, the owner, a sleazy guy in his fifties, never lost the chance to make advances at the young employee.
    When the hideous landlord threatened to throw her out, she called Gary and clearly stated the amount, not a penny less.
    That same night the fellow was at her place.
    Mitzy realized that now and then she would have to recur to that kind of business if she wanted to survive.
    Somehow, being desired flattered her and the pay was gratifying. Shame slowly vanished and guilt... well, the instinct of survival totally dismissed it.
    Ironically, the missed librarian had turned into a bewitching mistress. She would indulge in renowned bars where, while sipping martinis or margaritas, she recruited her one night lovers.
    The landlord was greeted in with the most enticing smile, and when he left, the week’s rent had been waived.
    Also Bruce dropped in again. No rosé this time; he had found out.
    He followed her to the bedroom, dragged her in bed abruptly and said, “Now show me what you’ve learnt so far.”
    Mitzy gazed at him astonished. Most certainly, he didn’t love her any more.
    She couldn’t avoid wiping away what she considered a stupid tear.
    Whatever, she managed not to mind the worst side of the job as long as the money kept rolling in. She was adjusting to the city’s squalor and appeal, to its greed and bounty, sharp contrasts now part of her mundane affairs.
    Interviews slowed down till she ignored them completely. After all, she didn’t need to be a successful model to shine on her private catwalk.

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