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Chestnut Nooses

Amber Descy

    I spent my last $20 on a ceiling fan that warbles. It was chestnut like I expect a horse would be, but what’s that look like anyways. I’ve never been a fan of brown.
    Instead, I waved down this green truck. There was a time when green permeated my life like the Northern Lights or something. I guess a small part of me is still there.
    “Hey there, looking for a ride?” the driver shouted over the roar of the rig.
    Walking around the front of the truck, a blast of heat opened the pores on my face. They’ll be dirty now, absorbing all that oil. It won’t matter soon.
    “Hey, yeah, I am. I’m looking to get to Esoon Hollow,” I said.
    “Now whatcha wanna go there for? I hear it’s haunted,” she replied.
    “Can you take me there or not?”
    “You got any money?”
    “No, but I’ll share my bag of Riesens with you.”
    “Deal. Hop in and be careful, those steps are sharp.”
    It’s curious how steps are dangerous, yet a haunted forest is an attraction. Reminds me of that lady that spilled coffee and got a ton of money.
    “Thanks,” I mumbled as I sat down. I don’t know why I buckled my seat belt. Too chicken, I guess.
    “I’m Lena. I travel down this stretch twice a week, and I’ve never seen you before. What’s your name?” the driver asked.
    “I’m Amanda. I’m not from around here.” I pulled out my bag of candy and offered her some.
    Lena nodded towards my t-shirt. “I figured as much. Minnesota huh? Is it cold up there?” She took a handful of candy as I looked out the window.
    “Only everywhere you don’t want it to be.”
    “Yeah, I hear you can throw water outside, and it freezes instantly. Is that real?”
    “I’ve never done it, but I’ve seen people do it.”
    “Why not?”
    “My family wasn’t really the type of people to do that stuff, I guess.”
    Lena chuckled. “What? Have fun?”
    I didn’t reply. These moments were mine, not his.
    “Hey, you alright? I get the feeling you’ve never hitched before.”
    “I have, just not with a woman.”
    “Ah, I see. Well, what about music? What do you like? I have a Spotify account.”
    “Whatever you wanna listen to is fine by me.”
    I braced myself for some hair-metal band to come busting through the speakers. Like he used to listen to. You know, one of those bands everyone hates but is somehow still famous. I hated them too.
    Lena shuffled through her app while I looked around. The rig was immaculate; there weren’t rips in the seats, no sun-faded visor, nor peeling anywhere. Instead, gleaming chrome chased leather stitching on an unblemished dash. Green trim accented an elegant blue upholstery.
    Peacock was my wedding theme. Bile burned my throat.
    “Here we are. Ugh, I just love this guy,” Lena said, wiggling back and forth in her seat, turning up the volume. She had to have been in her 40’s, but somehow reminded me of myself before the fan.
    Yoe Mase’s smooth, serene voice bled through the speakers and beneath my flesh. The odds of this happening ...
    “You listen to Yoe Mase?” I asked, clutching my backpack to my chest.
    “You know him? Isn’t he amazing? I discovered him on a playlist on YouTube. It sounds sappy, but his music changed my life. These lyrics gave me the confidence to get out of an abusive relationship.”
    A hot wave burned through me, and my teeth began to chatter. Memories surged to the surface. “The playlist wouldn’t happen to be Mr.SuicideSheep, would it?”
    Lena exited, following signs for Esoon Hollow. “No way, I’ve never met another person who knows his channel! What a small, wonderful world we live in,” Lena answered.
    My backpack blurred as I set my chin on it.
    “Well, here we are. I won’t be able to get out of that parking lot, so I’m afraid this is as close as I can get you.”
    “Thanks,” I replied, tossing her the rest of my Riesens. “You can have those. For the music.” I turned and broke my nail on the door handle. It should hurt.
    “Hey, you sure you’re okay?” Lena asked, leaning over as I got out. She would’ve been an exceptional mom. She smelled like a hug.
    “I will be soon,” I managed.
    I made my way to the edge of the forest. Dark, gnarled branches darkened the interior. It smelled like mud pies and grandma’s attic. The quiet was so deafening, I couldn’t hear over the rushing in my ears. My mouth tasted like tinfoil, and my clothes felt like sandpaper.
    I didn’t make it far when I found the perfect branch. I took out the jar I’d been carrying around for the past 4 months. I bought it the day I bought the fan. Jim would’ve hated it. The fan I mean. He never could stand warbling.
    I got everything ready, opened the jar, and gaped inside. I don’t remember him being so chalky.
    Hearing my name echoing throughout the forest, I decided it was time.
    “Amanda! You dropped this!” Lena shouted.
    I turned to see Lena jogging through the ferns. “Lena, Is that you? How’d you find me out here?” I asked, eyebrows furrowed.
    “You dropped this photo, I thought you might want it,” she replied as she slowed, taking in my supplies.
    I took the photo and looked at it. Liquid emerald I once recognized, peered back at me alongside Jim’s grey, ocean eyes.
    “Take my hand child, and let’s go get some dinner. It’s on me,” Lena said, her eyes round and stormy.
    Clasping my hand, she sat beside me as if she’d known me her whole life. My body shook off my bones.
    “I tried the fan. What a waste of 20 bucks,” I croaked, rocking back and forth.
    “Mine was Chestnut,” Lena whispered, pulling me into her arms.

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