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 “Seasons”
Down in the Dirt, v171 (the May 2020 Issue)



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Gorilla.

Keith Falconer

    This was Erris Burton’s most ingenious scheme yet. What better way to rob a bank than to dress in a Gorilla suit. People would just think it a prank...at first. He smugly checked out his disguise in a mirror.
    “That’s funny. Looks like one of those female chimps from Planet Of The Apes.”

***


    The gun-toting criminal mastermind left the targeted Bank amidst a whirl of swirling gunsmoke and acrid cordite clutching a voluminous swag of stolen loot and raced towards his crimson Toyota Starlet... He risked a backwards glance and heard the pounding of pursuant footsteps on the pavement.
    “Drat!”...Burton pushed on and sped past his getaway vehicle. He turned a corner and observed a Police car with blue lights flashing heading his way.

    “Phew,” his woolly outfit was making him hot. “Ah,” the hapless robber glimpsed a break in a chain-link fence and scooted through. He ploughed through a thicket of bushes: ditching his ill-gotten haul and found himself on a dirt path. “’Must be some sort of Park,” he thought. Erris Burton sniffed the air and detected an earthy animal aroma. His night vision kicked in.
    “Crikey!”... A huge Gorilla stood studying him intently with inscrutable piercing eyes from its caged enclosure.

    “Hey!” the incognito bandit felt himself being roughly enveloped in a coarse rope net followed by a needling pain as a hypodermic syringe pierced his bicep. As Erris Burton lost consciousness he heard the dreamlike voices of two zoo keepers.
    “Just as well we spotted this bugger Shane. There would have been hell to pay...!”
    “Yeah,” replied his partner, “and you know how possessive big Ajax is with his girls!”



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