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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Gone Fishing” Down in the Dirt, v173 (the July 2020 Issue) Order the paperback book:

Order this writing that appears in the one-of-a-kind anthology Outside the Box the Down in the Dirt May-Aug. 2020 issues collection book		get the 422 page May-Aug. 2020 Down in the Dirt 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

Loose Strands

Caitlin McCarthy

The gaunt woman hidden in the sickly yellow wallpaper
of my bedroom stares back at me in the dark,
mocking my loneliness as I take a blanket in my bony
fingers and wind the loose strands around them
(tight tight tight) until I’m seconds away
from having a prize, a nub or two that I can tuck
away in a pocket. When my blanket’s been ripped
to shreds, I pick at the slivers of skin that jut
from the tender flesh surrounding my cuticles with dirty
fingernails, with gapped teeth. I tug, desperate
to feel that sharp tear, that comforting rip.
And, when I’ve finally picked my fingers raw,
I grasp my tongue between my bloody index finger
and shredded thumb, pry it from my mouth,
clamp my teeth around the darting muscle, and bite
(harder harder harder) until the taste of iron floods
my taste buds, spilling from puncture holes
made by my own incisors. As blood seeps from the corners
of my lips, the gaunt woman turns to face me,
her crooked, crimson-stained smile mirroring my own.

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