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This writing was accepted for publication in the 108 page perfect-bound ISSN# / ISBN# issue/book “Drowning in the Darkness” Down in the Dirt, v174 (the August 2020 Issue) Order the paperback book:

Order this writing that appears in the one-of-a-kind anthology Outside the Box the Down in the Dirt May-Aug. 2020 issues collection book		get the 422 page May-Aug. 2020 Down in the Dirt 6" x 9" ISBN# paperback book:

Drowning In The Darkness

Travis Green

I was mad as hell, living on the edge
of a thousand bridges, unsound, drowned,
amber flames rising over me, raining wild
scorned rhythms, wrecking my soul like a
blazing car crashing into a brick building,
my body trembling, hands thinning, steel
gray eyes fading backwards in time, my voice
throggy and unclear, delirious, furious,
drumbeaten. I sat in the recliner late
at night staring outside through the scratchy
windowpane, lost in the motion of the
savage trees swaying with the breeze,
the screeching sound of vehicles passing
nearby, the stoplights flashing so bright
I could see all the moonwashed tears
surfacing its depiction, the landscape
so ragged and smashed like my existence.
I could hear the damaged ceiling fan
spinning in raw rhymes, each vibration
rising like a tsunami, swelling in my ears,
every note gone wrong, long gone,
demolished, flopped, slapped, the nouns
and pronouns in my throat sore and confused,
trying to breathe in this darkened hour
as I felt like every part of me was going
down in ghastly gutters. I felt betrayed.
I put so much trust in the wrong people
only to be judged and ripped apart, stranded
in faraway places beyond what was real.
I was a sour note floating in frigid oceans,
so hurt, so lost in these trickling tears
covered around my frail face. Somehow
the things that I thought had vanished
away behind closed doors kept creeping
in my consciousness, reminding me
that I couldn’t completely be authentic
without losing the ones I cared for,
that if I dived into the unknown
I could lose it all and never be
able to bring it back to the surface.

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