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How Not To Live With Alcoholism

Katherine Hyde

    Enter your home and hit a fogbank. Shrink into yourself and creep towards the hallway; he never smokes without a fifth of whiskey in-hand.
    They’ve been fighting again. The shrapnel of their battle still litters the living-room. Pass by their room and watch the haze thicken. Stifle your cough with your jacket; it isn’t enough. Grab the house phone from its dock and put it in your pocket. Approach their door again, quietly. Your room is less than 20 yards away, you can make that. Stand still and listen for movement behind their bedroom door – run.
    Call your best friend and ask about her day. Cry to her about yours. Agree to go for a sleepover next weekend. Let her cheer you up - let yourself laugh a bit, but not too much. If you’re too loud, he’ll start yelling again. And then he’ll start smoking again. Then drinking.
    He’ll quit eventually- the cigarettes, anyway. He replaces Marlboros with chimichangas and Reese’s cups, but he still never dines without Jack’s company. When you’re 19, he’s found passed out in the Stater Brothers’ parking lot. In the grocery bags recovered at the scene are two bottles of whiskey and a pack of twinkies. The alcohol poisoning nearly kills him, and he’s hospitalized.
    Go to see him often. Bring him books, a mini-DVD player and some movies, a pair of headphones, and homemade meals. Be patient with him – he gets frustrated when he can’t make his mouth form the right shapes, and when his fingers won’t grip the pen long enough for him to sign his name.
    Keep your tears at bay until you find solitude – your car in the nursing home parking lot is good enough. Call your best friend just so you can hear her voice. Ask about her day, cry to her about yours, let her cheer you up. Thank her, hang up, wipe your face and start the car; drive to his parents’ (your grandparents’) house and tell them he’s doing well. He’s re-learning how to eat, walk, and brush his beard.
    Swear to yourself you’ll never touch a drop of liquor. Become everyone’s favorite DD. Don’t fall in love with a drinker – they prefer company. Give into the peer pressure only once, for your 21^st birthday. Decide the next day that the pain in your head and your conscience isn’t worth it. Start turning your nose up at people who drink for fun. Decide a holier-than-thou attitude is easier than explaining yourself – people will stop asking anyway.
    Start breaking ties with the friends that drink; that’ll end up being most of them. The ones that don’t will be boring – pretend they’re not. Your best friend is the only exception.
    “It’s because she’s more responsible than everyone else,” you say, but it’s really because you couldn’t bear to lose her - that’s your soulmate. Watch the videos of get-togethers and nights in. Notice the drinks in everyone’s hands. Wish you were there to shake your head and call them foolish.

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