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 “Pipe Dreams”
Down in the Dirt, v177
(the November 2020 Issue)



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Garbage Man on Mars

Tom Ball

    Back on Earth, was a soap opera, and featured “alien” lovers.
    Famous stars on Mars brought in many famous and clever new recruits.
    And some won the lottery and were ordinary people, but most were the elite, the best of Earth.
    The Martian landscape was now a kaleidoscope of colors.
    I made my living as a recycler. Everything on Mars was recycled. It was 100% efficient.
    I collected junk and sold it to factories.
    Robots did most of the recycling, but where real intelligence was useful, I was of service. I considered it an art to reshape existing materials in an artistic type of way.
    Part of my skill was renovating buildings using used materials. I was kind of a jack-of-all-trades...
    Some called me the “Garbage man,” And it was true, I was. And all high-ranking Martian women didn’t want anything to do with me even though I was handsome and had a high sex drive.
    Mars was not as rich as Mercury or Venus, nor as rich as Moons Europa or Titan or Io.
    But then one day I discovered a gold mine that was worth trillions and suddenly I was the toast of the Martian elite.
    All the girls wanted to love me, and I reflected it was bliss.
    And I was now known as “Goldthumb” and I found other mines. I had single-handedly made Mars one of the wealthiest places in the solar system.
    The elite wanted houses made of gold and traded gold for sex dolls from Earth. Both male and female love dolls. Everyone here on Mars was debauched.



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