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For No Reason

Madlynn Haber

I saw the ocean again. It’s still there. Still rolling
up onto a sandy beach under a sky full of clouds,
with briny winds blowing your hair into a frizzy heap.
Winds circle around making you feel like you can fly,
making you want to spread your arms out
to your sides and be lifted up off the beach.

Cleansing winds blow right through your body,
right through your molecules, cleaning out
the gunk that has been cramming up your systems,
gumming up your energy. The ocean has a way
of opening you up, wiping out the dusty, crusty,
stuckness that’s been there too long. The buildup
of sludge, of grudges, of twisty anxieties, heavy
loads of resentments, cynicism, stony silence.

Walking on the beach with toes in cold sand
that sits by the edge of the water, spongy, packed
down to the ground with shells, stones and driftwood.
Walking beside an ocean of waves toppling on one another,
creating foam, creating familiar ocean sounds and smells.

So rarely I get to visit the ocean, it overwhelms
me with gratitude, reminds me of how lucky
I was to ever make it out of the city, to grow
up and move on. Having seen my share

of oceans I am still astonished each time.
If I saw one every day, if I lived by a shore,
woke up every day to the sight of the ocean,
I’d still be astonished, still be overwhelmed,
still be grateful for having made it out alive.

Alive and moving, breathing air filled with smells,
of fish, lilacs, cut grass, fresh bread, scented oils
from Bulgaria. Being alive to open your eyes.
Being filled with a golden light when the sun’s
going down, starting to fade into night. Just like
a breeze, there is a sudden flood of happy feeling
that fills you up for absolutely no reason.

When nothing good at all has happened.
When everything is still stuck in the same way
and troubles plague every part of the planet,
a breeze, a golden light can wash over you like the waves
of the ocean. There is an overwhelming flood of happiness.
There is no reason, no explanation for it. Just lucky.



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