This appears in a pre-2010 issue
of cc&d magazine.
Saddle-stitched issues are no longer
printed, but you can requesting it
“re-released” through amazon sale
as a 6" x 9" ISBN# book! Email us for re-release to order.
the way in which you say something
is as crucial as what you say
but I’ve never had the meter right.
I’m hyper- sensitive and quick to cry
you can tell by the shortness of breath
that lowers my voice to a quiver.
I’m quick to fight, so easily enraged
you can tell by the growling that raises my voice to a shout
if i was a grizzly bear it’d be like the gravelly howling coming out
of my mouth.
my emotions snap my voice like an elastic
that once it’s broken can’t be fixed
but secretly, I wish that I could talk like this
so small and steady, never betraying the feelings
spraying out of me with the rushing urgency of a hose on a hot day
As the fast, strong water hits my skin I slowly begin to cool off from within
you always tell me “it’s not what you say but how you say it”
but I don’t mean to yell, cry, or laugh
I feel detached from the things that I utter
like a doll full of automated phrases, set off when you pull the
string in my back
but even if I never uttered a sound
my damn eyes would say it all
