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i got dreams of fame

Amory Paul

i don’t know if i’ve mentioned but i’ve got dreams of fame
it doesn’t make much sense
you see me sitting here, twenty-one and going commando in my pajamas that i’ve been wearing
oh, shit, a couple days now?
with my chipped nails and my fucked up teeth and my hair i haven’t washed in
oh, shit, it must be a couple weeks now?
i got rejected from the last grocery store i applied to cause all my references are shit
cause i left all my jobs on bad terms and all my jobs were bad besides
and when i go in for an interview, i smell a bit like shit in my pajamas i haven’t washed
in a few weeks
and my hair i haven’t shampooed
probably ever.
but i’ve got dreams of fame.
and sometimes you can catch me outside the gas station
only sixteen, young black male chainsmoking cigarettes,
rode here on my bike passed down from my brother
six hours left on my shift and in a week i’ll be shot by the cops
for looking at them the wrong way
but believe it or not, sitting here by my bicycle,
smoking my cigarettes and watching the cars pass by
i’ve got dreams of fame.
sometimes you’ll see me leaving the am-ko
eleven year old girl
in the worst part of town
old backpack on my shoulders i’ve had for five years
and will have graduating the worst high school in seven
dancing a little bit while i’m waiting for the light to change
so i can get back to the worst home in town
where i’ve got the worst mom in the country
and the worst dad in the world
you won’t believe it but
dancing here on the streetcorner,
best girl in the worst situation,
i’ve got dreams of fame, too.
every now and then you might see an old man working the greeter position at wal-mart
or a five year old boy that smells like cigarettes and
the fake leather of his dad’s belt
or a little baby
dead in the corner of
tenement housing
and we’ll look back at you
and past all the lines on our face
our five year old face
our baby face
our lonely old man
left to die at too young an age
lined, dirt-tracked,
sad
sad
face
you’ll see something in our eyes that say
we’ve got dreams of fame.
believe it or not
but even here
even us
we’ve got dreams of fame.

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