friends forum
Janet Kuypers
JANET: I think friendships are based not on class, but on aspirations. If someone doesn’t care about their work, for instance, I think they don’t have any aspirations and they probably aren’t the type of person I want to be friends with. I look for a friend who has drive, talent and ambition, because that’s what I find admirable. And how can you be friends with someone you don’t respect?
BRAD: you pay them.
JUDE: I try not to judge my friends, I think friendship is based on freedom, freedom to be as close to who you really are with people who encourage you - so friendship is based on selfishness for me I guess... I’m selfish because I look to be friends with people who I don’t have to try so hard with. I also get really attached and look for people who will love me as I love them. I don’t have that many friends. I’ve got a lot of people who are in transition and have attached themselves to me. The only lesson I have to give is to use your friends well. Not meaning use them to manipulate them, but to use them to the best of their potential to encourage them.
ADAM: ARE FRIENDSHIPS USEFUL, OR ARE THEY SIMPLY SOCIAL ADORNMENTS? I VIEW FRIENDSHIP AS A DOUBLED JOURNEY INTO THE MYSTERY OF ANOTHER, THE BASIC MYSTERY PRESENTED BY SOMEONE WHO IS DISTINCTLY, FASCINATINGLY NOT OURSELVES, YET WHOSE CONSCIOUSNESS TOUCHES OURS IN ENOUGH INTIMATE AREAS FOR US TO THINK OF THEM AS FRIENDS.
JANET: Ooh, someone doesn’t know how to turn off the caps lock. Your turn...
BETH: Friends need not have anything in common with you. They may be people who judge you but offer this judgement to you with respect and not as a conclusion. They are people who know you may not share everything with. They are people who, even if they are not always true to themselves with you, you know and they know you.
NANCY: friendships....relationships....I try to fill the cup of my life so full, that at times I spill over and need to place a napkin on the saucer I call my soul. Absourb, soak up, clean up, toss out. I feel so much that at times I think I expect too much of my friends because I can’t tend to the every THING that floods my senses. Have gone through the most hurtful period of my life, and my definition of “friend” has become “re-defined”. But I have learned, through this, that I am my own best friend...together with myself, I am learning and experiencing things I never thought possible....am alive and vibrant, and have to thank Janet, for always being there, especially for encouraging and supporting my new found freedom.
JANET: Thanks, sweetie. But this should move over to someone else...
ANDI: My friends have been the most influential and the richest of endeavors I’ve ever willingly put myself through, and sometimes it is most definitely an endeavor.Sabrina - I have only had one friend in my whole life. I love her more than myself sometimes. She is like the first breath I have ever taken, and many times I stare at groups of people in wonder and ask myself if they are suffocating yet. You know, I am not meaning to sound all lame and poetic or anything like that, but I am one of those people who gives my heart to very few people. She is the only one who didn’t drop it. Sometimes I wish that I had more friends, but not really, because what I do have is just so fucking amazing that it just blows other people’s shit out of the water. I don’t know. I only need a love now and I’ll be so high that I just won’t be on earth anymore. Okay, I think I have just spilled too much, but whenever anyone asks me to type my mind, they are going to get way more than they are ever going to want to know. Either way- friends=good, but they have to be real.
Justin- Friends are what life is about. But the bullshit that goes on in new relationships is quite tiring. I find that the relations that were developed as a young child when I and others gave true feelings and opinions, though at times were and are quite painful but truthful are the ones that I adore. All the happy and fake admiration in new relations and fake interest is for someone else. The ones who can call out each of your lies and exaggerations are the ones that keep me on my toes and therefore at my best.dan this was such a great poem first of all because is was so real and true anyway i think the most important things in life are friends and we tend to take them for granted. It’s nice to see someone with such hope and someone who looks at life for the positive. We as a society have gotten in the habit of complaining when things aren’t really that bad. friendships are pure are real and although they seem sappy and corny when expressing how you feel it is all true and real and that’s what’s important in this world. thanks
JANET: Anyone else out there?
JASON: My friends are based entirely on how many piercings they have. None or one -- too square, not worth my time. Two, three or four -- enough to hang out with casually, maybe go to a coffeehouse or say hi to at an open mike. Five or six, including at least one in the eyebrow or nipple -- they’re okay. I can confide my secrets, I can have a one-night-stand, or I can loan them money. Seven, eight or nine, including both nipples and at least one in the genital area -- best friend. I will travel to Wheaton to help them fix a flat tire. Ten or more, including both eyebrows, both nipples, genitals and an anal ring -- well, now you’re talking about my wife.
JANET: Geez, and I thought it was okay to have one hole in each ear, and nothing else.
