Journal, 07/13/99
There are so many things that I have wanted out of life. And there are so few that I have received. Maye John is the present I have received for all of the Hell I have had to through, and maybe he has given me so much when everyone seems to take form me.
It doesn’t seem fair sometimes to know that I have gone though so much, and still there would be bad news. I think I said this before in an email to Chad, but if I believed in a Christian god I would think that I had to have been a Satan worshipper all my life to go through some of this.
Or, if I believe in some non-western religion, I may believe that I did so much wrong in a past life.
I suppose that could be the Christian theory of angels having to come back to make things right before they can acually get into heaven.
It’s a retarded theory, I know, but I am not the one that came up with it.
