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MP

August 1, 2000

You probably don’t think about me
�� well, usually I don’t think about you
�� but they’re making me consciously think about you
�� and I’ve done my best
�� after all these years
�� to think that I was past you
�� that you had no effect on me
Buy damnit, you’re such a fucker
you had to go and tear me apart
and had to go and destroy my teen years
and in a way
you had to go and destroy my life

This isn’t supposed to be about you.
This is supposed to be about me,
that’s what the therapist tells me
�� yes, I’m sctually seeing a therapist
�� and I think it’s all your fault

I told her about what has happened to me
�� over the course of my life
and the only recounting that brought me to tears
was talking about what you did to me
and did you even know what it was?

I never fought back,
you thought there was no problem,
maybe you never made the connection
�� after the fact
how I didn’t want to see you aymore
you didn’t know how I tried to avoid you
you didn’t know how I wanted you out of my life -
how I wanted to start over
how I wanted to be clean of you

did you really make me dirty?
did you do this to me?
or did I do anyhting I could
to soil myself
after you used me as a dirty hand-rag?

Who wins from this?
probably you
because I am not there to haunt you
because I never confronted you
because I never racked you
or injured you
you made you feel like shit

I wanted to be clean of this, I tell you






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