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Order this writing in the book Chapter 38 (v2) This volume is available in two forms, with Slightly different contets: as a 6"x9" supplement book and as a digest-sized 5.5"x8.5" book. This writing is in one - or both - books.
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Ten Minutes

August 4, 2000

I watched a cartoon
where a boy was caught shoplifting
he stole a game for himself
and he made up to his mom for it
by getting a picture of himself in a frame
and his mom was so proud

and all I could think of
was that I stole something once
and my parents made me feel like hell for it
and I wasn’t getting a game for myself
I was getting them Christmas presents
everyone made me feel
as if I had to spend
as much money as everyone else
and everyone else had a job
and was anadult
and I was a kid
and I was twelve
and I had fifteen people to buy presents for

but I was getting THEM presents
because they made me feel
like I had to be more than an adult
to compete with them
to compete for them
and it never won
and I never won
and I’m still not winning

so is this part of why I’m so messed up?
so is this why I’m an overachiever
so is this why I do so much
so is this why I feel the need
to always succeed?

I always do,
but is it always at my cost?

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