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It’s Just Not Right

Janet Kuypers, 09/11/06 #5

it’s spooky
it’s unhealthy
but I actually put the box
of my mother’s ashes
into bed earlier today
I couldn’t imagine putting it
anywhere else
to help her rest
it seems insane
it seems wrong
but I curled up with my mom
hugged her,
wrapped my arms
around the box of her ashes
and cried
but I went to the washroom
to wipe my tears
to clean my face
and I was then called
to help my father
with setting up meetings
for places my mother
is registered with
because we have to
give everyone
death certificates
to prove to the world
that my mother is dead

but now I come back
into my bedroom
and I see my bed,
and I see
my mother’s ashes
tucked into bed
and

and it’s just not right
I have to put
the box away
you know, the way
you place an urn
on a mantle
I have to do something
with it

you know,
something more generic
something everyone else
would probably do
with ashes
of a loved one

but I can’t think
of a place
to put my mother
to rest
so that watching
my mother’s ashes
rest in my bed
won’t haunt me
anymore

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