When I was in college
I had pain in my joints
in my legs, my back, my wrist
and I was taking medication for arthritis
even though no proof of having arthritis
was found in my bloodstream
so I went to my parent’s house
for a three week rest from school
and I realized that my pain
may not be caused by having arthritis
but by personal stressors
so I decided then and there
to change my life
and I stopped taking this strong medication
and after a month
the pain was gone
so since then I’ve always thought
that emotional problems
can also manifest themselves
as physical pains
###
I’m here in Florida,
at my parent’s house again
helping my father
after my mother has died
because, you see, in recent months
my father has had
what I call panic attacks
that he hates the idea of being alone
and I’m not sure
but this may have started
once my parents found out
that my mom had leukemia
because, after they’ve been married
fifty-five, fifty-six years
he’s used to having mom around
and doesn’t want to be alone
I’ve also found that in recent years
he has had to use an inhaler
because he loses his breath
and he needs something
anything
to help him catch his breath again
well, I’m here with dad now
for another week
before I go back to my husband
and after I leave,
dad will be alone in the house
he can’t handle that
he needs to know that he’s not alone
he needs to know that there’s someone around
even if they sleep in another room
he just
he just doesn’t want to be alone
so my sister got a list of companies
that provide companion care services
and dad and I talked about what he wants
he needs someone around in the evenings,
after five,
they’ll sleep in another room
maybe they’ll wash clothes
once a week
maybe cook a dinner
so it took him days to decide when he’d call
for an appointment with companion care
and this morning I heard him
panting, breathing heavy
and he had to get the inhaler out
and he eventually said,
“I don’t know why this is
acting up on me”
and when he finally got his breath back
he said,
“I should probably call
that recommended place
on the companion care list”
so he asked for the list
as it clicked in my head
how you can see
another example of how
physical traumas
could actually result
from emotional traumas
