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Wearing Her Jewelry

Janet Kuypers, 09/09/06 #2

So I’m here in Florida now
with dad, while he settles in
to life without mom
and I put on jewelry for dinner tonight
put on the only ring
I wear on my middle right finger now
mom’s huge blue topaz
she gave me when she decided to
stop the leukemia treatment

and it made me think
of what jewelry I wore
to her private services

you see, we had to sift through
her costume jewelry
once I got to Florida
to pick and choose through what we wanted
I didn’t want her watches
(I have too much of a love affair
with my Tag Heuer, sorry)
and I didn’t want most
of her clip on earrings
(she never wanted pierced earrings,
she hated the idea)
but one pair of earring she ordered
was pretty, and simple
they were a pair of earrings she ordered
when she found out she was sick

it was what she bought
when she felt bad
the she was struck with cancer again

and the earrings didn’t come in the mail
so she was going to reorder them
but said to my sister,
oh,
get the earrings as pierced
and keep them for yourself

but when they got back to her town
her clip on earrings were there
waiting for her anyway

so these earrings were ones she bought
because she felt bad
because she was sick
and had to face cancer again

so I kept those earrings

I picked something else to keep
a silver chain, with a pendant
of mock diamond studs
in a heart shape
there were two pieces of glass
in the center of this heart
locking in a few loose
mock diamond studs
that could move around
within the heart

and I thought it was uncanny
that I owned a silver ring
with a silver circle
and there were two pieces of glass
in the center of this circle
locking in a few loose
mock diamond studs
that could move around
within the circle in my ring

and so I picked only a select few pieces
of my mother’s jewelry to keep

and when we were going
to my mother’s private services
my sister asked me,
“are you wearing that
heart-shaped necklace
of mom’s?”
I only showed her the jewelry on my neck
and didn’t say a word

I know, there are only a few pieces I keep
but I wear them like tombstones
and I shouldn’t need words
to explain that

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