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Victim

Janet Kuypers, 1990

every day I face the wall
every day I must stand tall
every day from break of dawn
every day I carry on

every day I struggle with the lingering past
I had struggled, I had worked to take it fast
every day I find it difficult, impossible
to look at what we have and make it last

time to time I shed a tear
time to time when you are near
time to time I stop myself
time to time I’m filled with fear

I try to carry on but it doesn’t seem fair
when I feel your presence but you are not there
time to time I find it difficult, impossible
to look at how I feel and say you care

I close my eyes, I see it too
when I sleep I dream of you
when I talk your words come out
when I live I just feel blue

I can see the scene, it flashes through my mind
I can’t fathom feelings of another kind
when I try I find it difficult, impossible
to search for pieces that I cannot find

I had struggled with the maze
I had worked a hundred days
I had tried to make it stop
I could not see through the haze

I had to accept what you had done to me
there were so many lies that I could not see
time to time I find it difficult, impossible
to look at all your chain
to look at all your chain
to look at all your chain
and still feel free

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