Hope Chest in the Attic Acknowledgments
There are so many people who have expected things from me. I remember a man I dated once said that I wrote nice poetry about him while we were dating. He wanted me to care about him, but he was so self-centered that I couldnıt. The only thing I wrote about him a recount of a nightmare about him. He still doesnıt know this.
It is possible to be selfish and not be self-centered. Selfishness means you care about yourself enough to do whatıs best for you, to succeed. Caring about someone can be selfish, because it makes you happy to make them happy. But there are so many people who are possessive, and self-centered, that they donıt realize this. Maybe itıs a product of our male-dominated, compete-and-win-at-all-costs, look-out-for-number-one mentality. Maybe there are aspects to this ideology that are good; yet maybe it can be destructive at the same time.
I knew someone once who said they cared about me, I meant the world to them. And then they hurt me, and probably didnıt even realize it, they hurt me so much, because all they wanted was to make themselves happy, without any concern for me.
Actually, a lot of people have done that to me, and I have probably done that to a lot of people. But when you find people you care about, when you care about their happiness, when you respect them as a person, you are happy for their happiness.
And it is those people that I need to thank. I can write a list of names, Kevin, Jay, Carol, Jim, Judy, Nick. I need to thank all of you, and others, too, for making me happy. You may have done it for selfish reasons, but as I said, selfishness is good, as long as the end product is positive.
There were too many times when I thought I wasnıt good enough to do something like this, that no on would think my work was good. Iıd like to thank the people who made me feel strong, like I was worth something. If it wasnıt for positive encouragement toward me as a person, I would still feel like I wasnıt worthy of this. And some times I still donıt.
There are others I need to thank, though, ones who have given me so much support in the course of my life that a mere mention of their name is not enough. This book is a product of people like you, of people I felt I could respect, of people that gave me something to strive for.
I need to thank people like Brigit Kelly, for she made me feel like I could accomplish something. She made me feel like my writing was good enough to be printed. She made me feel as if there could be a future in this for me. Thank you.
Thanks to my sister, Lorelei, for having patience when teaching me photography, and giving me a role model in my own family. Weıre alike in so many ways, I think you know that, except there are times when I think youıre stronger than me. Thanks for making me feel strong, and giving me some sign in my younger years that I could succeed by doing what I wanted to in this world.
If Iım going to thank photography mentors, I have to thank Brian Johnson and Brad Hudson (in no particular order, I promise). I had the power to be creative, to learn the technical details, because you gave me that power.
Thanks to the people who listened to me read rough drafts of my work, especially when they had no interest in poetry. Thanks to people like Brian, Sara, David, Sheri, Doug. And Iıd also like to thank these people for making my life interesting - Iıd have no material if it wasnıt for you, my friends. Thanks to Joe, for just being you, I suppose, for getting me through hard times, for being someone I can respect. Someone I can really respect. That means a lot to me, and there arenıt many people I can say that about.
My last acknowledgment, my eternal thanks, my dedication to, of course, goes to Eugene, my backbone. Youıre my best friend, my love, and you make me feel alive. You give me direction when my future seems so uncertain. Thank you for being my inspiration for writing about pleasant things, like love. Thank you for reading my work, especially when the last way I would describe you is as a lover of poetry. Thanks for trying to sound excited when I find out Iım getting something published. Thanks for going to C Street so many times with me. Thanks for talking to strangers on the Quad. Thanks for spilling your heart out to me. Thanks for being so caring. For buying me a Dr. Seuss book, for sitting with me by my Christmas tree, for inviting me to a basketball game, for all the pizzas, for taking walks with me in the springtime at three in the morning. I donıt know how I could succeed if I was only doing it for myself.
You are exactly what I mean when I say you can be happy for someone elseıs happiness. I feel that way about you, and I think you feel that way about me. If you do, then you understand my joy with this book. I love you.
I love all of you. Thank you.
