Order this writing in the ~300 page book the One Thing the Government Still Has No Control Over This is the 3rd of a 4 volume set of Janet Kuypers writing in cc&d v144 past v188 are covered in this the 5.5"x8.5" paperback book which can also be ordered as a e-book/PDF file download

Order this writing in the poetry book Fusion of Janet Kuypers᾿ writings that were set to music by Madison, WI musicians, playd on the radio in Madison and released on the Fusion CD set Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book today:

Order this writing in the poetry book Stabity Stabity Stab Stab Stab of some of Janet Kuypers᾿poetry about death Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book today:

enjoy this writing from Janet Kuypers in the cc&d free 2013 PDF file chapbook: Tag Team Reading of select poems from the upcoming C Ra McGuirt / Janet Kuypers book “Tag Team Poets” (including a bonus poem from the “Periodic Table of Poetry”). Click the title or the cover to download the free PDF file chapbook.

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Order this writing in the collection book Writings to Honour & Cherish available for only: $15⁹¹

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enjoy this writing from Janet Kuypers by clicking the title or the cover from the cc&d free 2018 PDF file chapbook: “Eleven” a chapbook of years of poetry relating to the number 11, read live in Austin Texas 6/11/18 w/ music and sound effects during the Eleven show through Fort to Famous at The Buzz Mill.

Order this Janet Kuypers writing from her 2018 paperback book: “In Depth” Order this 6" x 9" ISBN# book today of interview segments, journal segments and select poems framing this author’s life

Order this Janet Kuypers writing in the one-of-a-kind volume “Chapter 48 (v2)” Order this one-of-a-kind volume of performance art poetry shows from 2011-2018 from Janet Kuypers as a 6"x9" perfect-bound paperback ISBN# book from Amazon throughout the U.S., the U.K. and all of Europe today!

Order this Janet Kuypers writing in the one-of-a-kind volume “Chapter 48 (v2)” Order this one-of-a-kind volume of performance art poetry shows from 2011-2018 from Janet Kuypers as a 6"x9" perfect-bound paperback ISBN# book from Amazon throughout the U.S., the U.K. and all of Europe today!

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Order this Janet Kuypers writing from her poetry book Every Event of the Year (Volume Two: July-December) Order this 286-page 7½" x 9¼" ISBN# book today of select poetry for holidays and events spanning the second half of the calendar year

September 11, 2001

Janet Kuypers

i remember my husband
getting ready for work
and i walked to the tv in the den

and i thought he was watching a movie

he said,
i don’t think this is a movie

i think the world trade center
has been struck

and we stared at the television
and watched a plane fly into the second tower

and then watched the towers collapse

i can’t even remember
if my husband went to work that day
as i just stared at the tv

it took two days to get through
to everyone
    my friend and one brother-in-law

    rescheduled Pentagon meetings
and we tried to call his sister
in shanksville pennsylvania
    our nephew heard news reports
    say this if flight ninety-three
    landed thirty seconds later
    the plane would have hit his school
my brother-in-law in new jersey
    was supposed to be

    in the world trade centers
    for meetings that day
    but you see, he decided
    not to go to the meeting

lucky him

and i remember watching the tv
like i was some sort of zombie
thinking this was bigger then Pearl Harbor,

more people died,
this wasn�۪t a military base,
i had to do something
    maybe i could go there
    i’d traveled around
    the country by car before
    i could drive this
    maybe i could stay

    with my husband’s brother in jersey
    and train into manhattan

my husband couldn’t go,
he had to go to work
so i took off on my own,
paid the tolls on i eighty
even forgot my camera

got to his brother’s place
after one in the morning

he told me what train to take,
but said half of the subway lines
have to be closed

so i trained from jersey as far as I could
but I couldn’t get close

but i thought,
i walked seven miles to work
that’s no problem
and hour and a half
i can do that

i thought i could buy an
instant camera
at some small shop

on my walk to ground zero
and maybe i could take a film canister
so i could collect some of the building dust
    because someone gave me ashes
    from the mount saint helen’s eruption
    and i thought,
    i lived through this
    i should bring something back with me

    i should
    i should something
but every store was closed
when i tried to walk
anywhere that day
and everything was congested
businesses seem closed,
but you still couldn’t go anywhere

so over four hours later
i got to ground zero
i was wearing gym shoes and jeans
had a bottle of sealed water
in my back pack purse
and wanted to get in to try to help
i don’t know,
to shovel things out of the way,

to something

but no one had maps
of where everything was
there were so many people there
trying to help
that they told me
that the best way i could help
was to just clear the way

so people could do their jobs

and i just stepped back,
unable to do anything,
unable to collect anything,
unable to photograph anything,
only able to stare,
like i was watching it on my tv

###

i used only lowercase writing this
even when i said “i”

i’m only lowercase

when i watched the news
on that first day
they showed people

jumping out the windows
    these silhouettes of people
    looked like floating paper
    in a ticker tape parade
    in all the debris floating around
    i had to keep telling myself,
    “these are people”

and when i looked around

at all of the remains
from these towering office buildings
i thought of the dust
i was breathing in
i thought
i’m breathing in drywall
i’m breathing in paperwork
i’m breathing in people

so yes, i’m only lowercase
after what i’ve seen around me
i’m nothing

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